MORE HONEY

I thought my last Honey entry would do it for the month, but in the last few days she's been coming up with new stuff that I just must share.  For those of you who have never had a super-shy kitty cat in your life all this must seem so trivial; for those who have spent weeks and months their knees trying to befriend and reassure a hiding cat you know these small achievements are monumental.

* After four days baking in my overheated apartment, Honey suddenly got energetic. I actually witnessed her PLAYING quite cat-like with a soft stuffed ball under the bed.  For several weeks after I got her she never played and was afraid of toys, at least in my presence.

* She is quite adept at clawing and tearing with her teeth, a real clawinator, as exhibited by the shredded corner of an old quilt on my sofa and most recently the utter destruction of the above-mentioned soft stuffed ball.

* I've been trying to get her to hop up on my bed by patting it and inviting her up while I'm on the floor with her. Tuesday morning while I was still in bed she hopped up and kneeded my quilt and batted my big toe a few times. I made soothing sounds and after a minute or so she jumped down.

* Honey is terrified of the Swiffer after her traumatic displacement of a few Saturdays ago; last night I had to do around the bed and as soon as she saw the Swiffer she began to cat yowl and retreated to a small cat-sized space under the bed. It took some time to coax her out again then a bit later I found her in the same space, still terrified. When she finally came out she was really wired with terror and ate like a horse. Great, my cat is neurotic and has an eating disorder! (Hee, kinda like me!)

The positive aspect of this event is that she has been extremely friendly since then (just like on Swiffer Saturday) and after she settled down she accepted my offer and hopped up on the bed and received some petting there before her fears overcame her again. She did this a second time.

* It was near midnight and when I was at my computer and heard Honey give a loud cat cry. She wanted me to come to her which I did but then returned to my game. A little later she cried for me again. I suppose it is part of her trauma, but I'm happy that she is feeling more comfortable 'speaking out.' She may become a very demanding kitty one of these days!

Honey Update - January

Saturday was supposed to be another 'Swiffer Saturday' but due to my apartment bake-out I let Honey stay in the relative cool of under the bed, and wished I could join her there.

She is still an under-the-bed cat, but comes out more readily when I'm kneeling next to the bed. She is also talking to me more with little crys and trills along with the purrs.

One thing she does when I pet her under the bed is so endearing. She rolls over on her side and while I rub her back she very slowly flexes one white front paw and then the other, back and forth. This is a version of kneeding, but the slow motion is just so sweet. She arches her back and looks at me with the sweetest face. I'd love to get a picture of this sometime.

In the past 2 weeks she has begun peeking out at me from under the bed while I move around the room or when I go to leave after petting her.

New photos have been added to Honey's Page. They are in the right column under the first few.

 

MOVIES I WANT TO SEE

This is my current list of movies currently playing near me that I want to see; as I see them I'll lean them over (tm GreenTuna) and give a review at the end until I run out of AOL allotted space.

In America, The Cooler, Monster, Cold Mountain, Lost in Translation, Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King, Mystic River, House of Sand and Fog, 21 Grams, Master and Commander: The Far Side of the World, The Last Samurai.

UPDATES - Here is what I've seen:

Lord of the Rings - The Return of the King: a great ending to a great epic. The wrap-up and intros were a little long, but the central story was gripping and moving. A monumental epic.

In America - incredibly moving movie about a young Irish immigrant family trying to make their way in life in NYC while coming to terms with the death of their son and brother. So much rings true here and the two children in the movie are absolutely outstanding. Why didn't this movie get a Best Picture nomination?!

Lost in Translation - huh? Lost on me. Ok, Bill Murray's middle-aged angst was well done, but overall the movie was boooorrrinng. I couldn't wait for it to end.

WHEW, HOT!

....and I'm not talking in a good way.

Friday after work I come home to a Boiling Hot apartment; my landlord made some adjustments today and will be back on Monday to adjust radiators throughout the building. I've been in a dry heat fog all day today. I want to get stuff done around here but can't even think.

HONEY BREAKTHROUGH!

Honey has come out from under the bed for extensive petting sessions tonight; she seems to be much less afraid of me than even this morning. In past forays she might enjoy some petting, but then after a little bite of food she'd zip back under the bed. Tonight she has stayed out for some intensive petting. She even nuzzled my chin! I'm so happy!

HONEY, VARIATION ON A THEME

Today is Swiffer Saturday and as a result a big day for Honey. The rest of the apartment got it's clean-up last night, but today it was the bedroom and under the bed, Honey's safety zone.

It was destined to be a mostly miserable day for my little creature. Before I even got up I heard Honey elsewhere in the apartment unsuccessfully horking up a storm; this has been her first hork session during my presence and as these things go I can expect a streak of it until she's successful.

With that over, our mornings began with the same routine. Food, petting and getting ready for the day. Then it was time to pull out the tool of terror. Honey saw me bring it into the room and she immediately became timid and then terrified when it invaded her space.

She took off to the living room with deep low cries that one usually only hears during trips to the vet. I moved around the apartment and finished the bedroom. At some point she bolted to a new hiding place, under my bathtub. It is one of those old tubs up on tub feet and she nestled into the corner. The place is nasty, with cobwebs, old tile and other stuff. I did not want her there, ever. The broom came out and she bolted back to the livingroom and to her cat bed.

This was not only acceptable to me, but desired. For a long time she stayed there as I move around the apartment, worked on the computer, and talked to her. Hypervigilant as always, Honey kept a close eye on me, but also seemed to act relatively safe. I managed to get the photo of her seen here; she has an extra white streak above her forehead from a trail of dust she picked up from under the tub.

While she was in her cat bed I made an I-am-god decision and moved her food out to the kitchen and put an under the bed storage bin back under the bed along with a mat. I say to Honey things are going to be different around here. It's time to start coping with the larger world of the apartment with me in it.

After a time she headed back under the bed and has been very distressed about the storage bin, but she has allowed me to comfort her and she's come out to eat from the food bowl I moved back near the bed. We've had a challenging day today.

CONTRITE

This week my chat friends have been calling me out on the state of this blog and with a repentant and contrite heart I've made a firm resolution to do more posting. Quality of posts is a different matter. When life is on hold there's not much happening.

A little funk came over me with my November trip and the holiday season (c.f. my Christmas sandwich). Honey's persistance under the bed, the weather, eating foods that distress my stomach and system, weight gain, asthma from the cold, TV boredom, financial 'you better nots' and an 'I don't want to be here' work attitude has fostered a big Meh attitude in general. This happens from time to time and it's more a superficial restlessness than anything too deep or dark.

I'm also mulling the need for a job change. Like for many people change or even the thought of it can be hard. I tend to immerse myself in computer games, like my re-addiction to Freecell, while my subconscious deals with matters.

So, when the Great Meh takes over the dryness affects Message In A Bottle as well. In these times it seems better not to post than to have readers take a walk down Dreary Street with me.

NO, I'M NOT IN A COMA

Yawn. Ok, so this weekend was slothful. It's super cold outside, in the single digits and aside from going to Mass, and getting groceries on Friday I have not moved from the computer, recliner, or floor next to Honey's bed hide-a-way. The birds were fed. The cat was fed. Football happened and I watched.

At the end of last week the brake light kept coming on in my auto which indicates that I probably need new brakes. Of course I need brakes because if I didn't need them I might be in peril of making some headway on my credit card debt.

Tonight I will complete New Seeds of Contemplation by Thomas Merton to meet my January goal of one book. Ok, it was 1/2 book, but it counts because it's a completion.

On to Monday.

TESTING, TESTING

This is a Honey update.

Tonight Honey has moved into a new phase of testing me. She is growing dissatisfied with her under-the-bed life and yet she is too darn shy to feel comfortable out from it's safety. At the same time she welcomes my petting and seems to be a bit more trusting. This week she seems to be happy when I get home from work and give her attention.

So, tonight I set up an alternative 'safe spot' by draping an old quilt over a chair and puutting her new cat bed under it. After some petting she became bold and checked it out and then dashed into the living room. After a while I got up off the floor and waited. She came back in and scooted under the bed.

After these little excursions Honey becomes insecure, like I'm going to scold her or something, and it takes a bit to coax her back over to her mat to pet her again. Then she warms back up to me.

Tonight after this sequence she went out again, and this time stayed out. After a few minutes I got up and very carefully went to the front of my apartment. She was in her cat bed even though the TV and all the lights were on. I sat at my computer and then she dashed past and back under the bed.

Those who have been following Honey's will see that these little forays are more small steps forward in trust. 

I FORGOT A RESOLUTION FOR 2004

11.  Get married in Vegas to a HTCon guy (and annul), or kiss a HTCon gal. Gotta raise visits to this journal somehow!

TV HABITS AND CHOICES

GreenTuna is often the inspiration for my infrequent posts on topics other than my new cat, Honey; her entry today, Pass The Clicker, on her Cable TV habits is a case in point.

This month my Cable TV bill will go up about 8% and I'm doing a long, slow irrational fume about it. Unlike my Green friend, I am not a channel surfer; at best I'm a TV Guide surfer. I do a quick scan of listings paying particular attention to channels I tend to watch a lot: the 3 major networks, TLC and Bravo, and Fox News. After that, I ask GreenTuna, and others in HTChat, "What's on tonight?"  Thank you channel scanners for doing the advance work and always being ahead of the curve.

Why do I fume at the Cable company? Well, I don't want to pay network welfare for the myriads of channels of no interest. I want to pay for the channels I do watch, or at least choose a limited roster of channels for a prorated price. In this day and age why do we have to choose from a rediculously limited and shrewdly-crafted two-tier plus premium/PPV choice?  Perhaps that will come one day with digital, or greater cable competition. In the meantime, "What's on tonight?"

HONEY-WATCH

Here's some of the latest about Honey.

She is still a sweetie, and being very brave in overcoming her timidity. It is all still very very slow, but I see the small improvements.

While I'm at home or out of bed Honey stays under my bed. Otherwise she enjoys coming out to a cat bed in the living room; she plays a bit with cat toys I leave there so I think she's basically comfortable with the apartment, but not with me moving around in it.

Sunday. It's getting colder and my bedroom does not have heat. I'm concerned that she might not be comfortable under the bed with only the little mat so I bring her cat bed from the living room in and put it on the floor. She is immediately and suddenly sad and depressed; once again I've goofed. I translate my gesture through kitty-mind and understand too late that she thought I was restricting her to the bedroom, taking away her living room freedom. Ack! She is really hurt by this! I put the cat bed back into the living room and we eventually make up.

This morning. I get up at 7 AM and Honey is still in her living room cat bed. I move about the kitchen and when the time is right she shoots through the kitchen back under the bed. She always needs reassurance and I spent time on the floor petting her under the bed. After a time she moves to the other side of the bed and then moves out the other side; she pretends to check out invisible things on the floor but looks over to see my reaction. I'm cool. She comes back under the bed, but then a short time later she does the same thing, but this time trotting out of the room and then trotting back under the bed. Bold Honey! Yay! I'm so happy with this little adventure.

RESOLUTIONS 2004 VERSION

In my most jaded tone, I offer up this year's plate of New Year Resolutions.

1.  Lose 50 pounds. This is my perpetual Resolutions Anchor; I'd probably lose all grounding if it is ever accomplished.

2.  Exercise 3 times a week....another golden oldie.

3.  Be kinder and more helpful to co-workers, family, friends, customer service reps, and the idiot asshat drivers I encounter every day.

4.  Read 1 book a month. Come on, how hard can this be?

5.  Have one fun vacation this year, preferrably in Vegas at an unofficial HamsterTimeCon (HTCon).

6.  LifeOFFhold.

7.  Stop being in denial about being lactose intolerant.

8.  Step away from the online shopping cart and put down the credit card...at least making these excursions less frequent and less expensive. [Say this mantra: I do not need a laptop, wifi connection, new desktop computer, couch, or DVD-burner....or...]

9.  Be patient and enjoy Honey; this is a journey!

10. Continue the de-clutter project with a vengeance.

TVJ's Tip

This is a test of TVJunkie’s AOL Journal tip using microsoft Word to add in more interesting fonts.

HAPPY NEW YEAR 2004

Well it's 2004 and already things are looking up.

Honey and I had another 'difficult situation' today. I decided my whole place needed a good cleaning, including under the bed, Honey's safe place and her little mat. After some reassuring petting and her morning meal I made my move. She was nearly off her mat so I gently pulled the mat out from under her, and then got busy working with the swiffer to herd the most recent dust bunnies and flecks of litter out for disposal. Of course Honey took off for the relative safety of the living room and I did the intended full bedroom clean. When it was safe again she scurried back under the bed avoiding a new temporary mat like it was a hellmouth or something.

With typical scardy cat behavior Honey ignored me for a while and would not be coaxed onto the mat, but I could tell she was more peeved that her territory had been distupted rather than scared. I told her I had her number while also reassuring her.

After giving her some space, and replacing her cleaned mat for the temporary hellmouth model, she stopped punishing me and came back for some petting. New food was put down and she came out three times in my presence for little bites.

So, this is MUCH better than the week-long setback we experienced just a short time ago.

I will eventually take more photos, even if she remains under the bed, but I think this has been enough adventure for us today.