Introducing....

.

Life Off Hold <--- (link)

http://lifeoffhold.blogdrive.com/

I'm officially off to new blog digs now; hope to see you there in 2005.

ETA: Now with photos, background textures, quizzes, books, polls and entries!

This Ain't EASY, Designer

I'm grinding my teeth right now. Easy Designer, never cooperative even on a good day, is being it's fussy little self tonight. It is the tool that I use to heft my photos onto AOL's free webpages so that after about 50 exhausting steps I have some pretty offering to decorate this pitiful blog.

Tonight Easy Designer is giving me error messages or telling me I don't have webpages. The bottom line is that I can't do anything. Even when it decides to acknowledge my existence and work correctly, the AOL blog software only allows 1 photo per entry, always at the top before the text; imbedding photos within the text is too complicated for it. I can use the You've Got Pictures feature for up to 6 photos, but they're also at the top and annoyingly tiny.

Looking over the blog fence, my blogging friends have it so much better. Imbedded photos, sometimes several in one entry, bullet highlights, lists, calendars, avatars in the profile section....the list goes on. I've seen some of these things on AOL blogs, but AOL doesn't make it easy, and I've decided not to be enslaved by the craptacular blogspace and tools AOL offers.

There are several options that look good, and for the time being, I've chosen Blogdrive for my new Blog, Life Off Hold and Photobucket Premier (unlimited) for photo hosting. In a few day's I'll provide the re-direct link once I've finished cutting the cord.

Merry Christmas to All

The sugarplums are dancing in my head as I send out Christmas and Holiday greetings and blessings to all who wander in from Real Space.

Honey got her Christmas stocking full of catnip toys, balls, and little plastic thingies that she can bite, toss, and bat around. She responded with purrs of contentment and happiness which made me happy.

Last night I finally played a VCR tape that my family sent me several years ago of my mother's last Christmas Eve. It was 2000 and she was sick with terminal cancer at the time. A small group from her Salvation Army unit came and sang Christmas Carols out in their carport. Neighbors and friends were there for the Carols and for a little social after the singing.

One of the middle-aged men in the chorus, Dick, had some kind of physical disability that caused his body's torso to jerk fairly non-stop. Near the end of the program, Dick said he has a song just for my mother. In a beautiful solo tenor voice he sang a Christmas song with a theme about Jerusalem, the heavenly New Jerusalem. My mother stood in front of him giving him her total attention and great grace and dignity. It was really touching, appropriate, hopeful, and very beautiful. It was a real Christmas gift for me this year. A real blessing.

Grace's Mini-Meme

Grace over at The Friday Chef came up with these questions:

Question #1~ Have you ever had a seasonal job? Was it a good or bad experience?

I've never had a seasonal job, per se, except for the month or so I tried to sell Fuller Brush products door to door. It was my first paying job. I had to purchase the demos and flyers; with this overhead I had to sell to break even. I distributed the flyers in round 1 through my territory and then in round 2 I knocked on the doors to take orders.

My region was split between elderly people and younger middle-income families. The elderly people were more likely to invite me in and eventually, after a long visit, purchase one small item. I had no success at all with the younger people.

I also sold Dianetics books door to door as a 'penance' during my Scientology years, and that's a whole different story.

Both sales jobs were the same, though. The old or lonely were the only ones who gave me a moment of time and as I get older I understand this a lot more. I didn't sell many brushes or books, but I hope my sales visits helped make a few days less lonely. That is the only good thing about door-to-door sales.

Question #2~ If your house was burning to the ground, what one thing would you chose to save?

It would have to be my 'miraculous rock'. In 1992 I made a religious pilgrimage to the village of Medjugorje, Bonsia-Herzegovnia, reported to be the site of ongoing Marian apparitions. During a rosary walk on Apparition Hill I had the thought that I'd like to take a rock from the hill home with me and I began to look for one. As I did this, an interior voice that was not my own said to me, "Let me have someone give you one (a rock)." With that my mind stopped thinking about rocks.

That evening after dinner one of the older men in our group who had spent the day at a different event in the village announced that he had something for each of us. He picked up a bag and went around the room and we each drew blindly from the bag. The gift? A rock from Medjugorje. Many of us saw Christian patterns in our rocks. Here is a scan of mine with the image of Mary with her Immaculate Heart and my interpertation of the image.

Question #3~ Make one resolution that is do-able, and could make a big difference in your life.

After this year of illness, I'd have to say to lose weight, exercise more and to continue on with my allergy shots and try to get healthy again. Without health it's hard to move forward on other goals. I've lost about 15 pounds since October so I think it's do-able, but it's easy to get derailed.

Now This

Carl Nelson

1958 - 2004

The Nelson family has had another loss.

My brother, Carl, passed away sometime yesterday in his apartment in Arizona of some kind of seizure (stroke? heart? anyurism?). He was 46, the youngest of us Nelson children. He worked the night shift for a local community college in the computer department for at least a decade. He never married.

Unfortunately, Carl and my father did not get along; aside from three brief visits at the time of our mother's death in 2001 he did not have contact with our family these past 12 or so years despite our attempts to reach out to him. We were hoping that after my dad passed he might re-establish contact with his sisters, but I guess it won't happen in this life.

He was 7-years my junior and so our only real time together was when we were kids. There was no specific estrangement between the two of us, but we were mostly strangers to each other. He had 'adopted' a different set of 'parents' and 'siblings' within his circle of friends over the past decade or so and ignored us. This made me sad, and a little angry, because I could see how this hurt my parents, particularly my father. Otherwise, my hope was that he found happiness in the path he chose for his life.

Somehow, although I'm shaken and sad, I'm not all that surprised by the news. I had an inner 'sense' about Carl these past several months since my dad's death, as though he was somehow already gone too.

Rest in Peace.

(((Shudder)))

It's December, a time of festivities and joy. However, I am fixated on another event, an event I've been dreading since 12/13/03, the day my cat, Honey, came home with me from her Shelter.

It's time to make her annual vet appointment, and as of this date I've still not successfully picked up Miss SquirmyBody. She's a big girl. Her inner core is 100% muscle hardwired to a highly tuned feral flight instinct; the outer layer is a mass of squishy fat that is hard to grab.

My attempts at picking her up, which have not been many, have been dismal and weak. Usually I'm at an awkward angle...I grab and encounter squishy fat; by this time Honey's defensive moves have already gone into motion, and she kicks with her inner muscle and squirms out of my grasp. The emotional fallout involves suspicion, distance, a sense of loss, and insecurity. And that's just me.

Yes, I'm a pitiful excuse as a cat taskmaster; Honey knows it and takes every advantage. Yet the time draws near so it's time I grew a backbone and get this done.

Anyone out there got any cat-catching techniques?

Honey Plays!

I don't have a playing photo yet. Here is Honey watching the birds at the feeder.

I never thought I'd live to see the day!

Things have been just fine between me and my darling kitty cat pumpkin, Honey, aka Da Baby. Hopefully I'll be adding some pictures to this entry this weekend.

This week I had my landlord come in during my workday and remove my old shabby used sofa to make room for a reclining loveseat that I plan to purchase sometime in early 2005. As with all change, this, and the reorganization of the room afterwords, brought out Honey's insecurities.

Reassuring her can either be a tedious and mildly frustrating task, particularly when she hides under the bed and cries and is slow to come around. Sometimes, when she isn't that bad off, such as after the sofa incident, she gets all love-y with deep, appreciative purring and reassuring her can be very satisfying, as if our bond is growing stronger.

Once we got through the reassurance, Honey seemed to be overjoyed. For the first time since I've had her [11-months] she played openly and at length with some of her cat toys, vigorously tossing and catching a little ball, a mousie, and a small sack of catnip. Her inner kitten is coming out...at least until I run the washing machine again and she retreats once more to under the bed.

Re-President Bush

For the most part I like to keep away from hot-button topics like politics, but it is the political season and so here goes...  

My vote will go to George W. Bush. I think he has faced an amazing array of difficulties with vision, strength, care for all Americans, and good leadership. His policies are based on values and principles that are rooted in American life.  

National Security - during the 90s American interests were attacked numerous times, including the 1993 attack on the World Trade Center but no effective actions were taken to truely combat terrorist networks. This changed after 9/11; President Bush rightly sees the need for an offensive multi-faceted battle against terrorist networks. John Kerry has yet to demonstrate an understanding of the situation and focuses on capturing or killing individuals, such as Bin Laden; this is a reactive in nature and just more of the same 90's approach which allowed terrorist networks to develop and strengthen.  

Iraq - We ARE in Iraq. Sometimes the political focus has been so backwards-looking (hindsight's great, ins't it!) that it has deflected from the reality.  Bush WILL have the determination to stand by our troops and bring about the right objectives for America and Iraq, for the war on terror, for the region, and for the safety of the world. Much good can come from this, but it takes a strong resolve despite the ups and down. The enemy has to first defeat the resolve of the enemy's country and leadership. That won't happen with Bush.

John Kerry is another story. Kerry will certainly make the situation a failure, another Vietnam. He can only see military action in terms of Vietnam and I don't believe for one minute that he'll have the resolve needed to bring this conflict to a success. Frankly I think he has defeat hard-wired into his resolve, and for this reason alone I can never vote for him for President.  

I feel that Bush has been good for America on domestic issues also despite daunting difficulties, including the attack on 9/11. I have the same concerns as most Americans about domestic needs, but feel that Bush is addressing the domestic needs. Kerry's 'big govt' approach would not even pass through Congress (thank God) which leaves us with no action.  

I trust Bush's values and character. I respect Kerry's service to America in Vietnam, but have deep concerns about his character and record since then, and even during this campaign.  

George Bush is the best choice for America and the world (but not the terrorists).  

[/political]

Life Battle

Today, for the first time in more than 2 months, I feel healthy.

I've been sick the past several weeks with bad asthma brought on by a minor component of seasonal allergies and a major component due to particulates and/or mold being stirred up at my workplace due to rennovations in the building. I hung in as long as possible, but ended up being out sick for a full week in mid-October.

I'm also getting the allergy shots, and perhaps I am less able to deal with the allergens at this time. Several factors may be in play.

During my time out, I found help from Fred Pescatore, M.D.'s book, The Allergy and Asthma Cure. I'm now following his 3-month nutritional program and have tapered off from Advair Diskus because I think it's been part of the problem. Dr. Pescatore writes this about the class of drugs that Advair belongs to: "There is now some concern that there is a relationship between use of these drugs and dying from asthma." [The component Serevent is the suspect drug, according to the Advair commercial I just saw.]

Both my regular doctor and allergist put me on the strongest Advair (up from mid-strength) in mid-September and the month after that was horrendeous. I felt I was heading towards 'dying from asthma'; twice I almost called 911 it was so bad.

The nutritional 3-month program tackles yeast overgrowth that can happen with people who, among other things, take steroids. Both my rescue inhaler and Advair are steroids. I've also had varied symptoms of yeast problems for a while now.

The program is similar to the Atkins diet, except I can't have anything containing sugar or yeast. It's challenging, but I'm hopeful that it can contribute to my overall wellness.

I'm hoping that I'll be able to add exercise in soon and to have the energy and focus for the job search which is still necessary to get out of my harmful work environment.

New Life, The Theme

Gee, it's been 6 weeks since I promised more than I could deliver. The blog-neglect continued. It's always awkward making that next attempt after failing to follow through. Will I remember this withered blog? Does anyone stop by anymore?  (((echo)))  Well, that's to be expected....

New Life is the Theme

My father passed away in early July and entered eternal life.

Arizona sister is taking care of the family business and getting on with a new life for herself after years caring for/living with our elderly parents.

Tennessee sister finally got into court after 10 months of postponements and was granted a divorce and financial justice. Yay, sis! You deserve it!

And me? Well, I've decided that I need to move on also. The building where I work has a mold/mildew problem is getting pregressively worse. Apparently only I can detect this because I have extrodinary superpowers. Superman, meet Kryptonite.

It's now bad enough to affect me powerfully and painfully every working day. The Powers That Be are taking the course of Maximum Denial and will stay on that course until one day this winter when the foot of snow on the roof melts and pours visibly into the corner office. I'm going to do my best not to be there when that happens, but I hope a former co-worker will give me satisfaction and call me at my new job with the news.

Change does not come easy. I really like my job, particularly in it's variety and also the company culture which is very relaxed. My commute is rediculously short and easy and there is virtually no such thing as 'being late for work.' These aspects are not likely to be duplicated.

But...it's time to move on.

Please remind me when I forget.

 

NEGLECT NO MORE

Ack!  I visit my own blog, and it's full of cobwebs! Guess that happens when one practices the fine art of neglect. At least it hasn't slipped off into some archive file. Yet.

It's Big Brother 5 season and I'm perpetually digging my way through the abundant funny live feed recaps over at Hamster Time; there's so much recappery that I haven't watched the live feeds as much as I should. It's been an entertaining season so far.

Family and finance issues are at the fore with my Dad's passing; things in this area are a little strained and no fun, but that will pass. Hopefully we'll all make it back to sanity and a semblance of familial dysfunction that we consider normal, or at least comfortable. I can't write about this stuff, except to say it's crazy and takes a lot of my attention bandwidth.

Right on schedule (i.e. as soon as I seem to be making headway on my credit debt) my last good upper molar went bad and so I'm in the midst of the good 'ole root canal - tooth buildup - crown procedure. Sigh. Bye bye October Las Vegas trip.

Honey remains my little pooters. She was all kitten-like the other night playing with a new mousie toy, one with a little tinkly bell. Brave girl! She has previously been afraid of anything with a tinkly bell.

 

HONEY GETS BOLD

I like this picture too much so had to post it in it's larger version.

Honey and I reached another little milestone this morning of a delicate nature. Our respective commodes are right next to each other; for the first time this morning they were in use simultaneously.

There, I said it as delicately as possible.

Sorry, no extremely gross recaps [GreenTuna, 7/21, 4:38] to offer despite the subject matter, and, um, no photos.

GETTING BACK TO LIFE

A little at a time I've been getting back to the ordinary things of life and my interests. My family is doing well, and we thank you for your expressions of sympathy, warm thoughts and prayers. They have all added to the sense of support and caring that we've known through the past weeks.

Honey has done her part, too. We've now been human and cat together for 7 months now. During the past month of trial and sorrow, she came closer yet, by agreeing that it was ok for me to pet her on my bed. I am now allowed to sit on it and pet her, and even lie down an arm's length away and pet her. She will even jump up on the bed when I'm sitting there first. It is a morning routine with us before I leave for work, and at night also.

The pictures here were taken during a recent petting session with me sitting on the bed and sometimes petting her while aiming the camera as best I could for the shot.

ACROSS THE GREAT DIVIDE

Robert E Nelson
1922 - 2004

My dad passed away during the early morning of July 5th.

My sister was enroute to the hospice home when it happened, but a nurse was with him, and it sounded like he was peaceful.

We are greiving, but are all ok. I'll write more about him in the upcoming days.

Thank you, my friends, for your care.

7/6: Edited to add the photo and obituary below. We are all doing well.

OBITUARY

Robert E. Nelson, 82, of Tempe, AZ died July 5, 2004. Born January 22, 1922 in Vandling, Pennsylvania to the late Carl and Barbara Nelson. He was preceded in death by his beloved wife, Betty Jean Nelson March 9, 2001. He is survived by his children, Mary Nelson of Bridgeport, CT, Barbara and Carl Nelson of Tempe, AZ, and Susan Nelson Passmore of Hixson, TN, sister Barbara Gliha of Vandling, PA, brother Harry Nelson of Littleton, NC, and grandchildren Daniel and Sarah Passmore of Tennessee. Robert was a veteran of World War II meriting a Purple Heart. He received a Bachelors of Science degree in Ceramic Engineering from Penn State University and worked as a ceramic engineer until his retirement from Litton Industries. He worked on the development of the camera that is still on the moon, fiber optics, and night vision technology. His personal laboratory research included the development of a second generation lense that could see through fog, and two patents. After he retired he was an engineering consultant in Israel and he became an expert witness in tube technology before a US court. He was a loving husband, father and family member; he enjoyed his cats, feeding the birds, computer, writing, travel, a good game of poker, and working on and around his home. He will be missed. In lieu of flowers his family requests donations to The Salvation Army, 40 E. University Drive, Tempe, AZ 85281. Carr-Tenney Mortuary assisted the family.

SADNESS

My Dad has been going downhill very quickly this past week. This morning I got the news that the Doctors consider that he is Terminally Ill with Heart Failure. There is nothing more they can do for him.

He went through the surgery for his broken neck pretty well on June 10th but was very slow to show signs of recovery. He had good days and then days where he was confused and agitated. This week they discovered he has a blood clot in his right arm. There were Cat Scans to ensure there was no stroke (none) and then blood thinners for the clot. Then he took another downturn about a day ago by not absorbing oxygen.

Things have happened too fast for my sister to keep up with the changes and I don't know if he knows of this assessment yet, or even if he's capable of understanding. I'm certain he knows he's extremely sick, and not improving. I will talk with my sister after she gets some rest.

Of course there is no hard and fast timeframe; it could be iminent, 2 days, 2 weeks, but probably not much more than that. He is now a hospice patient and as yet do not know where he will receive this ending care.

I'm sort of trying to deal with this in small doses...bleeding in a little more sorrow and reality a little at a time. Feeling helpless. Praying that his pain and anguish will give way to acceptance and peace. Hoping for the same for his family that loves him.

7/4 -midnight update: A DNR [Do Not Recuscitate] has been issued for him and he has been moved to a Hospice facility in Phoenix. My sister in AZ was with him about 6 hours yesterday and is heading to be with him in his new facility.

WATCH OUT, I MIGHT BE DANGEROUS!

I have apparently been acting suspiciously of late, which is quite amusing for a person who barely has any life to put on hold. 'Life'-Watch has been moved from Green (anything goes) to a kind of Dull Red (put blocks in her path but don't shut her down entirely). I feel the heat, guys, and yet I'm innocent! I tell ya, innocent!

The Security Nazis are the tag team comprised of Internet Explorer and Norton Symantic Internet Security software; they have been hounding me ever since I got Delly, my laptop, and began taking her places like work and my home recliner. I'm fairly certain my Wireless Router is also involved in the harrassment I've been experiencing.

My desktop at home, an innocent bystander, is also afflicted.

It seems that the Security Nazis don't like it when I, for example, get into Amazon.com (my boyfriend, for heaven's sake!) at work, then at home on my laptop, and then later on my desktop computer. It apparently considers this rather slutty behavior. In random fashion it decides that I should not be able to sign in or access my Amazon account.

At first I thought that perhaps I've spent too much money this month and it has decided to exercise the control I seem to lack. (Then it might be a good thing!) Yet it happens at other sites too, particularly where I have to log into an account. It has happened at BMG Music, Rhapsody, my AIM account, and now Amazon.

Each time I've messed with things I don't understand, rebooted a few dozen times, and then something happens and it's ok....until I get on another computer.

Last night I was ready to go to bed early (10:30 !!!) in order to be really refreshed for the long weekend. About that time I tried to get into Amazon to print out a copy of a recent invoice to submit for a rebate. The Security Nazis were ready for me. No, no, no, no, no!  I messed with IE's Security settings including adding Amazon as a Trusted Site. No. I rebooted my desktop. No. I reset the security defaults on IE. No. I rebooted again. NO!.

Finally, in desperation, I opened up Norton Symantic Internet Security. Norton has never given me any problem ever since I disabled it's Firewall [I was tired having to approve each friggin' server on my widespread internet journeys.] Sure enough, it has it's own little 'approved sites' section, which I've never had to use before. When I put in Amazon.com I was able to get into my account again. Bedtime after all this? 12:30 am. Yup, 2 hourson this troubleshoot alone.

Why it acts this way is a mystery. It probably has to do with the second computer and the foreign ISPs it uses in it's travels. After all this I have a better feel for what will make the Security Nazis happy the next time I'm denied access.

It is good to undergo these trials and tribulations now and get them out of the way; it's one reason I got Delly and the wireless router in May, so I could work the bugs out. Big Brother begins in 5 days and I don't want ANYTHING to keep me from living Live Feeds large, reading and writing about them on Hamster Time, and commiserating with my chat friends. The Syncronized Eye-Roll event!

So, Security Nazis, I think I now know your evil game. You will not prevail!

BIG BROTHER 5 HOUSEGUESTS, FIRST GLANCE

Big Brother, in their infinite wisdom, has selected and made known at least 13 of this year's houseguests. Three blocks on the BB website remain blank, and this time without the big Question Mark. So, are there 13 players or 16? Guess we'll have to wait to see if those will be filled by 3 more players.   Here are my quick takes from the photos and brief Q&A:  

Adria - 30, married, Web Designe, AL. Seems stable but watch out for clashes in the kitchen with Marvin who considers himself a gourmet cook and sees this as part of his winning strategy.  

Diane - 22, single, KY, cocktail waitress. Likes gossip but is afraid of snooty girls in the house. Vulnerable, but maybe not.  

Drew - 22, single, college grad, OH. Weakness is women, will miss his cell phone, afraid to trust. 'Do what makes you come alive' attitude. Probably uses women and blames them, and will be used back.  

Holly - Model, 20;s, sinle, LA-CA. loves cats, considers she is caring and goes out 'on a limb' for others, possibly vegetarian. Likely to be used, hurt and discarded by more focused players.  

Jase - 28, single, Vol. Firefighter, IL. How he'll win? 'A controlled mess! Like falling on the ground, yet missing the dog turd.' What he'll miss from the outside? 'Um, well gee, me on TV."Already I think he might be the Most Annoying. Possible gay.  

Jennifer - 21, TX, single, Restaurant Hostess - says she's artistic, funny, stubborn, odd, overly judgemental. Will miss hearing about world events. Plans to become friends with people, figure them out and then use it against them.  Being overly judgemental does not bode well for her long-term chances, but she does seem to have a viable strategy if she can stay under the radar.  

Karen - 30, married, Portrait Artist, NJ - judgemental, opinionated potty-mouth; an artist and highly competitive. She will clash with Jennifer over artistic things and Mike, and possibly Scott, over politics. Her competitiveness reminds me of Nicole and her potty-mouth reminds me of Krista.  

Lori - 26, single, Yoga Instructor, MA - her big fault is being messy...otherwise she seems 'normal'. She is this year's physical fitness instructor. Ok, I'll play along. Yeah, right. As a player she seems like the type that could slide under the radar if she gets in with the stronger group.  

Marvin - 36, single, mortician, SC. Considers himself to be dynamic and a maverick, Christian, 'too real for some people', wants a 6-person alliance, backstab & be the chef. He is going to be too 'dynamic and real' and may be unable to hide his strategizing ways; he'll clash over the kitchen and be an easy mark to be voted off.  

Michael - 23, engaged Dad, Security Officer, OK. I took one look at his photo and thought "Josh". Here's what he says about himself: 'caring, loving'...weakness? 'my emotions'. Plans to go into the house 'with my head up and be myself'. Yup, Josh. Overly Sensitive Man with self-esteem issues. Watch him find a 'Roddy-type' and become his emotional pawn.  

Mike - 41, single dad, commercial painter, MI. says he's competitive, loyal and smart. heroes are Bush and Limbaugh. Weakness is he's not exciting. Strategy is to be friendly, agreeable and win key competitions. He looks like he could be agreeable and low key. He will be the older person who has some self-control while the young people show their hands and fight it out. I am starting out liking him.  

Scott - 26, single, Sales Rep, PA. says he's savage, outgoing, relaxed, strong and in control. Mentions fame twice, and his looks, so he's a famewhore. Plans to be friendly but deceitful. As Katjam observed, Roddy 2.0. I'll take it a step further and say that Michael will become his Josh. Scott also has cold eyes and reminds me a bit like photos of Scott Peterson. Dangerous.  

Will - 26, single, registered nurse, MS. Slings the slang left and right in his Q&A. Will miss his cell phone and new's about Whitney in the tabloids. My take: thinks too highly of himself and is gay [Whitney?? cell phone??]. Plans to slide under the radar, but that could be hard for such an ego to do.

LET ME TRY THIS AGAIN

"AOL ate my blog entry!"

I had this multiple-paragraph rhapsody composed about the joys of the start of summer and was adding in the links. Gone! Now I'm too tired to sing the full song.

Joyful signs of summer:

1.  The grill, even if red-hot coals do fall onto my 'deck' from time to time. Hope no one was below. May the chicken fat sizzle!

2.  Thanks to persistant accolades by a chorus of Chat friends, I have a new Official Summertime 2004 drink.  And a First Runner Up.

3.  New music, thanks to Rhapsody and friends at Looking Good. Nick Cave is a keeper with a list of other artists to check out.

4.  Delly, my new laptop, and it's wireless router, software and the USB flashstick so that my summer obsession (see below) can be close by and I can free myself from sitting at a desk chair. I've needed the past month to get it set up and accessorized for work, home, and integration with my desktop computer.

5.  Hamster Time has been refurbished for a new group of Houseguests, friends are starting to gather again, Green Tuna has completed her NC vacation, and we are all preparing and anticipating a new summer Big Brother madness.

Links and photos will be edited in. I need a nice little summer nap.

WHEN WILL I EVER LEARN?

Bedtimes this past weekend:  3:30 am - Friday night, 3:30 am - Saturday night, 4:00 am Sunday night.  

Ok, I guess it's bad policy to begin playing Zuma at 11:30 pm. On the other hand, perhaps I'm just in training for late-night Big Brother Live Feed watching.  

ZZZZZZzzzzzzzzzz.

PASSING THOUGHTS

This weekend I'm consumed with scanning my slides into the computer. This first required sorting the slides into some kind of life timeline. Sometimes the slides were stamped with a processing date and sometimes not and the latter needed considerable effort to place, particulary those from the 70's when I never seemed to stay in one place for a long time.

The problem was compounded because in my travels I crossed the USA several times. For instance, I lived in California twice but at four addresses. These were interspesed with stays in New York state. In one case I lived with my parents in the same house three different times. Identifying which Third Street stay, the one in 1972, 1973, or 1975 I was looking at took some detective work.

Perhaps this doesn't seem important, but when you get to my age and you recognize that you're forgetting a LOT and that it's harder to stir up the old memory banks, it's time to nail down some basic information....names and locations. Heaven forbid that something gets out of sequence in a complicated timeline to cause even more befuddlement.

So, along with the scans, filed by Year, and in some cases in special event folders within the year, I'm going to write a text file with notes about each year so I can get my life sorted out once and for all in text and photo.

In the process of working on the most complicated portion of the timeline (mentioned above) my thoughts went to a Russian 101 class I took in college in about 1981. I liked the sound of the Russian language and it's grammar and it's very charismatic instructor. He said there were jobs in the government for translators and for a time I entertained the thought of going into this field. Aside from the fact that I was not motivated enough to do it, I also thought of the background check I'd have to undergo, listing where I've lived and where I went to school and who I knew and in the complexity of my life I knew, even at that time, that I'd never be able to pull this information together. So, now I'm attempting to do it 20 years further down the road.

As a final rambling passing thought, I recalled that Russian instructor, so charismatic and impassioned about his area of knowledge, and I remembered my first college Chemistry professor; he was bald and not 'sexy' charismatic like my Russian professor, but he had a joyful, uplifting spirit and a love for Chemistry. I loved Chemistry, and chose it for my major, because of his love and enthusiasm for the field. Unfortunately this love was not sustained to where I developed my own passions. I became capable enough to become a good lab technician, but could never dedicate myself to it to become a good Chemist.

Enough mental wanderings for now .... back to the slides.

PROGRAM NOTES

While we wait for the A-list Reality shows [The Amazing Race and Big Brother 5] to start:

Tuesdays at 9 pm on UPN: Top Model, season 1 - rebroadcast [well, it is new to me!]

Wednesdays at 9 pm on Bravo: The Restaurant, season 2

VERY GOOD NEWS

My Dad made it successfully through the surgery today!

His broken neck was pinned and the surgeon said he should be able to move it again. One of our fears had been that it would be pinned without mobility, but this is thankfully not the case.

We are so relieved and grateful for all the prayers and good thoughts that have supported him, and us, through these past several days. Please continue to remember him for a strong and quick recovery.

He is on a ventilator for some lung infection/pnumonia that he has been battling all year, but other than that things are looking quite good at this point in time. He will, of course, be on pain medication and the introvenious feeding for a while yet. He may also have limited ability to speak during the post-op healing.

We will not have a good idea of his post-surgery prognosis for a while, but I must say that we have been greatly encouraged at this point.

Just as an aside, my Dad was a ceramic engineer and during the course of his career he worked on the development of many new technologies. One of these was fiber optics which was a key part of the surgical equipment used in today's operation. He has been very fortunate to have the technology and surgical skill that attended to him today.

Thanks be to God.

PRAYERS ARE WELCOME

My sister in Arizona just called. My father is in the hospital tonight in stable but critical condition. He fell this morning in his bedroom and hit his head and broke his neck.

At first he did not have feeling in his extremities. The feeling thankfully returned in the hospital; he is under traction and being attended to by a neurosurgeon. His vital signs are good and he will have more tests and perhaps additional treatments tomorrow.

My family will appreciate prayers and good thoughts for his recovery, sense of peace and whatever ongoing care he will need, and also for my sister who is bearing so much to care for him.  Thank you so much.

Monday update:  The surgery did not happen today; info is hard to come by, perhaps they are still doing tests or waiting for the swelling to lessen. My dad is apparently still stable, which is good. My sister took care of necessary legal matters and will see him tonight.

Tuesday update:  No surgery today. I haven't talked to my sister yet, but the nurse said his condition remains about the same. I asked about the surgery and she said it might be Wednesday, but she did not have anything definate yet.

Wednesday update: My dad is scheduled now for surgery Thursday morning at 8:30am , Arizona time. It is called a 'stabilization surgery' to pin the broken part of the neck. We are hopeful that he can come through this.

A GREAT ONE PASSES ON

President Ronald Reagan passed away today at 93. I consider him to have been one of America's greatest presidents.

I was in my 20's during the Nixon, Ford and Carter decade of the 70s; virtually the entire decade was one of American self-doubt that culminated in the malaise of the Carter years of the oil embargo, hostages, and crippling economic inflation. America seemed to have lost it's way and did not know how to become healthy again. No younger generation of today can fully appreciate the lack of vigor that pervaded those years.

Ronald Reagan brought a renewal to America with his optimism, spirit, and conservative policies that energized the economy and faced the challenges of the world with new firm resolve. He stood on principles of freedom and a strong belief in the ability of the individual to best manage their lives. He did not bend to polls, but stood firm on his principles.

America renewed and had a huge economic rebirth; the spirit of Americans lifted and became empowered again towards a brighter future; the spirit of freedom began to enflame places like Poland and within years of leaving office the Berlin Wall, and Communism fell. All can be traced to Reagan's policies and force of leadership.

Personally, I was drawn to Conservative principles in my college years during a time when the country was protesting Vietnam and the Nixon administration. William F. Buckley, Jr. was my first major Conservative influence. Ronald Reagan fulfilled the conservative vision with honor and effectiveness and created many 'Reagan conservatives' for a new generation.

Rest in peace, Ronald Reagan. Thank you for your service.

WARNING, WORK RANT AHEAD

It's Friday which should be a day of work serenity, a Whatever kind of day, where cares and concerns are securely filed under 'Monday - To Do'. Instead, I've worked my way into a mid-level work seethe for the 3rd time this week, complete with stress eyeballs and pounding headache; the only thing good about this seethe is that it's a result of me being on the warpath, a strong-willed I'm Not Taking This Anymore response to the previous seethes.

I am up in arms concerning a warehouse in Florida that has been giving our company bad service for the past 6 months, ever since new management took over.  They have sent out double shipments, sent the wrong product, missed ship dates, sent incorrect month-end inventories, failed to correct inventory problems, and have an utterly non-responsive person as our customer service contact.

Some of the product that we store at this warehouse are spent carbon canisters that are identified by a large colorful RSA label with an ID number. We track the spent product RSA#s and quantity of drums in our tracking system and the Warehouse does the same; these lists should match up. When we accumulate a large quantity of spent canisters at the warehouse I have them shipped to a place in PA for recycling.

At the end of last month I arranged for a full shipment of spent canisters with the standard instructions that they are to verify the RSA#s and quantities; if there are any discrepancies to notify me. Welllllll, after the shipment is on it's way to PA I get the Bill of Lading and the quantity shipped is about 1/2 the quantity I had listed to ship.

My blood begins to boil. I call Crappy Customer Service (CCS) who says, "We sent everything we could find." I said everything should have been there, and that I need a list of which RSAs did ship, and which did not from the list I originally compiled for the shipment; this is important because we certify to our customers that their spent material has been recycled. We track this closely. Have I got this list from CCS? Of course not.

By special invitation (this should be their standard procedure), I requested our end of the month inventory faxed to me. Sure enough, it lists all the RSAs our CCS "could not find". My blood really boils! The shipment itself had problems as some of the tanks were poorly wrapped by the warehouse and subsequently tipped and spilled in transit. Tuesday I was on the phone all day sweet-talking the carrier into cleaningup the spill and getting the shipment back on track.

In other instances of bad service, CCS has not made corrections to our new product inventory that I requested twice by fax, beginning back in February. The errors have multiplied with more wrong than right on the list, an outrageous situation.

So, I'm fed up and on the warpath; this warehouse now has a new site manager. Either this guy will deal with, and correct, all this bad service pronto or I will badger my management here to change warehouses (pronto). Most of this morning has been spent compiling documents and writing the Situation/Remedy memo. Kaboom!

HONEY BUNNY

Honey and I are getting along just fine.

Muy casa es su casa
After my week away at the end of April she became bold enough to be in the open living room/computer room area while I recreated at my computer work area. She discovered both the short cat tree with the saddle top and the carpeted window seat attached to the front window. She now enjoys both the front and back windows at her pleasure.

Mama's plan for her baby
So, we have accomplished full apartment range at the 5-month mark in our relationship. This leaves the following: getting on the bed with me for petting, getting on my lap, relocating her food dishes to the kitchen, and [the big one] getting picked up.

Behind closed doors
Honey is very affectionate despite not yet being a lap cat type kitty. She and I have our affection routines throughout the day; she will now let me pet her in her cat bed or on the cat window seat. Just recently she has given me a few nips of affection on my leg during our morning bathroom pet time together.

Doctor, I'm a wreck....
She is still insecure about Swiffer Saturdays and terrified of thunderstorms, but she's getting a little better about the bi-monthly clean-ups. She is pretty much out from under the bed, except during storms, but she is insecure if I do anything that disturbs the current position of her cat feeding area or the little mat under the bed.

Urgency - Moderate, Critical Level - High
I can wait on Honey's decision to be a bed and then lap cat, but it is important to be able to pick her up, at least by December when she is due for her annual vet visit. I've tried, believe me, I've tried to pick her up. Honey is composed of a very squishy outer body wrapped around a powerhouse of muscle driven by a sharply honed, agile street-cat instinct. While I'm trying to find a grab-hold beneath the body squish she squirms and kicks her way from my grasp.

Let the Game begin!
So, in between the incidents of thunderstorm and Swiffer Saturday trauma, and in the spirit ofoverg's game of gitchu, I've begun a game of Kitty Pick-Up.All is normal, then I do a pick-up move and Honey squirms away; she does not go far, and always looks back at me with a wary eye. I then just go about things as usual, like the pick-up attempt never happened. Hopefully this little game will instill some 'normalcy' into the action and I can get more serious about it as time goes on.

Little Princess!
Finicky, that's the word. She likes 2 flavors of Fancy Feast and that's pretty much it. I think I've run through all the flavors at least twice and tried a little sampling of other brands. Sometimes she eats these, but mostly not. She is highly opposed to any flavor that is grilled or marinated, or in an aspic (don't blame her here); she does not like chicken, beef, trout, ocean whitefish, or turkey. She sometimes, but rarely, likes veal, tuna or salmon. She does not like kitty snacks.

Play with yourself
She becomes timid when I try to play with her by doing the following: rolling a cat ball in her direction, dangling a toy on a pole, dangling and moving string. She backs off when I do these things. Ohhh, how I wish to have a playmate! On her own she will play with cat balls, toy mice, and bows. She also gets the cat crazies from time to time in the morning, running back and forth through the apartment before I get up. She also does not get into things like younger, more curious kittens, or like Katjam's legendary cat, Dom.

MEMORIAL DAY

America
by Rev. Samuel F. Smith

My country, 'tis of Thee,
Sweet Land of Liberty
Of thee I sing;
Land where my fathers died,
Land of the pilgrims' pride,
From every mountain side
Let Freedom ring.

My native country, thee,
Land of the noble free,
Thy name I love;
I love thy rocks and rills,
Thy woods and templed hills,
My heart with rapture thrills
Like that above.

Let music swell the breeze,
And ring from all the trees
Sweet Freedom's song;
Let mortal tongues awake;
Let all that breathe partake;
Let rocks their silence break,
The sound prolong.

Our fathers' God to Thee,
Author of Liberty,
To thee we sing,
Long may our land be bright
With Freedom's holy light,
Protect us by thy might
Great God, our King.

Beneath Heaven's gracious will
The stars of progress still
Our course do sway;
In unity sublime
To broader heights we climb,
Triumphant over Time,
God speeds our way!

Grand birthright of our sires,
Our altars and our fires
Keep we still pure!
Our starry flag unfurled,
The hope of all the world,
In peace and light impearled,
God hold secure!

DEDICATION OF THE WWII MEMORIAL

I hope many Americans, and indeed, people worldwide, saw the coverage this afternoon of the Dedication of the World War II Memorial in Washington, D.C.. It was very moving and joyous and, of course, long overdue. Once again I am reminded that freedom and the American way of life comes at a high price, and I am humbled by those who have given so much.

My dad, who was wounded in WWII, has declined rapidly in health this year. I called him up to make sure he was aware of this ceremony today; I don't know if he was well enough to watch, but I am very thankful that he has lived to see this day.

God bless all who have served, and who serve today.

LAPPY HAPPY DANCE

Lappy came to work with me for the first time. My manager/office-mate took the afternoon off, so I had, ahem, latitude. In the Spirit of Impending Holiday Weekend I blithly installed the internet hub (provided by the manager who handles our company network), installed my security cable, booted her up and tested some important important functionality. All a-ok.

Traditionally, the workload is much lighter during the summer months, so light that even after the special projects are worked there is time to fill. My guilty pleasure begins in July and lappy will have full access although due to my new location, I must keep that indulgence for the lunch hour. My higher intentions for the idle time has me learning Photoshop Elements and HTML this summer.

BLOG SELF-INSPECTION

GreenTuna posed some questions that I thought I'd answer:

Why do we blog?
What little I do is a small exercise in communication and creativity. Over the past several years the computer has become my 'home base' and it seems natural to blog with it too.

Is it a worthwhile endeavor or a waste of time and bandwidth?
Bandwidth is cheap, and yeah, it's worth it. I'm not very prolific, but I like having a place to share the bits and pieces of my life.

Is blogging the latest form of corporate goofing-off?
Absolutely!!!!  The creative mind needs some distraction from the mind-numbing work we do each day. I always get my work done, and done well. My company has never been concerned when I've had to work through lunches or stay late due to the workload, so they shouldn't be concerned that sometimes my internet playtime runs a little long.

Does it build community, or is it merely a false friendship?
It builds a certain level of community that is often hard to find in the real world. It eliminates the barriers of time, space, and to some degree social differences that tend to be isolating. It is easier and quicker to meet people of similar interests through the use of message boards, chat, and blogs. I consider the internet element of my social life to be very important and cherished.

Do you feel pressured to post to your blog?
At times I feel I am not holding up my end either in quantity or quality, but then each person has different gifts. I try to make a few entries a week, but I'm uneaven. I'm better at pressuring others to blog. <smile>

Would you keep writing if nobody was reading?
Yes, and do!

MY BLOG WORLD IS FALLING APART!

GreenTuna, where ARE you, and what happened to The Tuna News?  Ever since last night I've been getting 'NOT FOUND' when I click on your blog link. Yet other blogs on blogspot come out fine.

Chefgracegeorge, The Friday Chef has suddenly become WIDE, so wide I have to scroll left and right on each line to read your content from my work computer. Perhaps it's all that delicious food on your site, but a bit of a diet is in order.

I'd put links, italics and CAPS LEANED OVER on the above, but I'm writing this in desperation from my work MAC which barely passes as a computer.

THE CHAPEL OF LIFE

Tonight I'm announcing a new specialized blog, Chapel of Life.

My Catholic Christian life is important to me although often neglected and seldom referenced in the blog world. Since faith is usually considered a private thing, being so personal and part of our inner core of beliefs, it does not easily segue into conversations about kitties, reality TV, and the little trials and tribulations of modern life.

I'm inspired to create a little blog chapel, called the Chapel of Life, not after my moniker but after Jesus Christ, The Way, The Truth, and The Life (although as 'littlelife', I am a disciple).

The Chapel of Life is a little place of peace, meditation, prayer and inspiration for the glory of God and the good of the chapel visitor. As a Catholic, the devotional content will reflect this religious flavor.

The first entries, beginning Friday, will be a daily Novena to the Holy Spirit to lead up to Pentacost. The chapel is still being decorated as this gets underway.

A link is available in the Favorite Sites section of Message In A Bottle sidebar. I hope you will drop in from time to time.

Peace of Jesus,

lifeonhold
-- Feast of the Ascension of Jesus, Thursday, May 20, 2004

WELCOME, LAPPY

I've been quiet here at Message In A Bottle. This entire week I've been burning the midnight oil bringing my new Dell laptop up to speed while keeping a sharp watchful eye (the kind a parent might give to a troublesome child) on American Idol after the LaToya London debacle.

The laptop is a major splurge of the I'll Pay For It Somehow kind; certain personal factors made 'now' seem to be the right time for the purchase, and so it sits on my table and demands to be fed. 

First, Lappy [no relation to Rappy or even Tappy] wanted to be Connected, so out came the new Wireless Router. This is my 4th computer that has the ability to connect to the internet so it's the fourth time I've had to struggle through a maze of badly written and not quite correct modem, network, and communications instructions. Is it too much to ask for a comprehensive 'walk through' for this procedure? Better yet, why can't communication hardware providers create a Smart Wizard that can diagnose all the protocol issues involved. This stuff is greek (or perhaps I should say geek) to me.

After about an hour I got the basic router set up so both computers are working with the interned. It should have taken a few minutes, but I misread a simple step and spent the next 50 minutes 'troubleshooting' until I walked through the procedure correctly. This was the easy part.

Now I'm trying to set up a Home Network that will allow me to file and printer share. Here is where the instructions and Set-Up Wizard let me down big time. Parts of the instructions seemed to match my system, but they were incomplete or confusing. I spent several hours on it last night without success and now it must wait for the weekend.

In the meantime, I fed Lappy most of the software I want on the system. I'll be using a new screen name [littlelife12] on AOL and AIM as a requirement for AOL's use on a network; RealPlayer 10 and Rhapsody were downloaded and installed; Microsoft Works with Word 2002was finally installed despite some annoying difficulties with the software disks, another crummy partly inoperable Wizard.   It still needs Photoshop Elements and a mouse I can actually use because I hate the touch pad control for daily home use. Both of these items are en route thanks to my boyfriend, Amazon.

Soooooo, these technical things just have to be accomplished before the play can begin. I can't wait to move from my home computer chair to the comforts of my recliner for TV/chat nights and this summer's Big Brother 5 Live Feeds.   I also have another project that I hope to reveal by Thursday night, but much work needs to be done.

SO WRONG

So, who else is creeped out by the overly spry old Six Flags dancing man? (((shudder)))

TURTLE

I ran across Mr. Speedy while searching for free web graphics and web tools. He and his ancient Indian clipart friends can be found at GRsites.com, the place to go for all your free web graphic needs; although Amazon is my boyfriend, I think it's time for a web affair with this site for a while.

In order to express myself with my new obsession, I've revived the panic-blog I created last Fall when AOL Journals went haywire on me. Always Under Construction is my Blogger blog that I'm trying to understand how to customize; I've already made some progress.

At this time I'm thinking of using it only as a little blog design workshop, the place where I can play with the template to my heart's content without distressing any innocent visitors with the horrors of misplaced and just plain wrong code. If I like Blogger's versatility, Message in a Bottle may make the move to Blogger where I can cut and paste in the best of Always Under Construction's design formatting. I might also try out other free blog sites before making a final move choice.

Here are some web tools links. The first one is my recent discovery (see above), the others are re-published from Highwaygirl's blog links:

GRsites.com - free web graphics

Color Schemes - web colors

ColorMatch Remix - web colors

Java(TM) Boutique Color Picker - web colors

Many thanks to Highwaygirl for these links; now I'm one step up from totally clueless.

A REAL ATROCITY

The abuses of Iraqi prisoners by American military personnel need to be investigated and those responsible must be accountable and appropriately punished.

That said, the evil terrorists and milia who savagely decapitated civilian hostage Nick Berg alive while videotaping it, and all others doing similar evils need to be removed from the face of the earth as soon as possible.

I hope the world, and particularly the people of Iraq, will compare and contrast not only the actions of these groups but also the reactions of their leaders. Nick Berg certainly wishes he had the opportunity to be in a naked pyramid and that was the extent of his treatment.

People of Iraq, who do you want in your leadership? Those who are working for democracy for all, or those who are trying to impose their rule by torture and gruesome death. It's your choice which side you support and which you get.

As for us, I hope we'll get over the national hand-wringing over the prison abuses (leaving that to their own investigations and justice proceedings), remember that we're up against a truely brutal and evil enemy, and be unified with new resolve to finish the job in Iraq to the right end.

I BE BITTER <smile>

Tribe:  =FistyRocks  
Rank    Team Name    Score
 1     GreenTuna     3221
 2     buffs4vol     3178
 3     VivaLaFisty     3105
 4     Honeylife     3080
 5     copssister     2965
 6     Amazingrace     2846
 7     The Sketch Factor     2724
 8     Snappie     2623

Congratulations to GreenTuna for rising to the top!  

Had I selected Catches a Fish for my Bonus points I would have ended in 3rd place, nut I thought my team would want to wash before facing the jury [Gets naked] but not. I fared better in the public tribe, finishing 9th out of 100, but probably 80 of these people stopped updating their team.

Thanks to everyone for playing. It made the season more interesting to play along with a full Tribe of people I know.

Ok, what's next?

NOT MY PICKS

They are not my desired Final Four, but that's just me. Well, ok, Rupert can stay.

Lex and Kathy committed murder-suicide after playing a credible game until Madness of the First Order overtook them. Lex, I love ya, but you've got a thing for doe-eyed vulnerable guys [Brandon, Boston Rob] that has affected your Survivor play. You got away with it in Africa, but you should have seen the cutthroat pirate heart in the Robfather. You played with your heart and it took your entire team out of the game.

Jenna, you may be dismissed. Only a Jenna win tonight will make me seethe. You ARE annoying.

Rob and Amber, I hope getting rid of Tom comes back to destroy you. Dumb, self-centered move. Perhaps you thought he was too likable to keep, but isn't everyone compared to you? I hope you face the Purple Rock of Doom and one of you loses. Teach you a lesson. If one of you win then I'll begrudgingly give you your props. You've played the game and if my players had not been such idiots you wouldn't be anywhere near Final Four.

Rupert! I want you to win because I loved you in Pearl Island. You forgot to pack your pirate playfulness this time around and you were a bit controlling and dumb concerning the shelter, but otherwise you found your strategy for this game.

So, let the game conclude. I have only one request, please everyone, get naked, multiple times, if possible tonight. Bathing for the finale must be involved. Whatever you do, don't sleep away from the tribe, say the tribe's name, sing a song, or wear an eyepatch. My Survivior Fantasy League standing depends on your nakedness tonight! Channel Winner # 1, Richard BareAss Hatch tonight!

WELCOME, AT LAST

Well, it's about time!

As Honey and I near our 5-month anniversary she takes a new step into new territory by joining me in our living area.

Of course she has ruled this territory by night from her early days in the house but only after I've swapped spaces with her by going to bed. If I dilly-dally too far into the night she always gives me a 'last call' cry to inform me that I'm holding her up from her nightly routine. Dutifully I usually heed her cry and retire.

Now, finally, it is woman and cat, together, sort of. She strides quickly past me on the computer, looking straight ahead so as to 'not see' any forbidding look that might restrict her access. I keep silent, not even giving her encouraging tones. She jumps up on the cat saddle and then for a short time up on the carpeted window seat then back down to the cat saddle. I see the little white nose pointed in my direction as she keeps a vigilant eye on me across the room on the computer.

For many minutes I remain hushed and moving slowly so as not to alarm her. We give each other little guarded glances. Things seem to be a-ok. This is good. Finally I can't resist and get this photo from across the room. The date: Swiffer Saturday, May 8, 2004.

TRIP REPORT

Honey is in her bedroom cat bed watching the birds at the feeder. I've finished another Swiffer Saturday and made a quick trip to the grocery store for a rotissarie chicken and Powerball ticket (280 million). It's the first weekend home after my trip and I finally feel fine.  

The workweek was the typical post-vacation killer but I managed to make it through by shifting into overdrive for a few maxed-out days. The wise just got out of my way and left me alone; the stupid got the death stare as I blasted past their spinning bodies on another run to the copier. Although not totally caught up, by Friday I was able to feel and act more human.  

How was Arizona?  The State was very accomodating with beautiful dry 90s days and 60s nights and I was only slightly irritated by the pollen-de-jour. For the first time while visiting my family I chose to stay in a nearby hotel; it was the right choice, greatly appreciated for it's solitude and comforts. Each morning I had breakfast at IHOP to start the day with a nice breakfast, John Steinbeck's East of Eden and a few me-minutes before heading to my dad and sister's house for the day.  

My dad, who is 82, suffers from conjestive heart problems and diabetes and has been in the hospital three times this spring. A week before I visited he had an auto accident which totalled his car. No one was hurt in the accident, but he is naturally depressed about the loss and the possibility that he may never drive again. It may indeed be time to hang up the car keys.  

He is frail and tires very easily. The week was spent giving him light-duty care....making frequent small meals for him, getting him ice water, going on short trips to stores, and helping him around the house. I made calls to inquire about various services that he might need down the line and left the information for my sister. At this time he is only agreeing to sign up for the Meals on Wheels program.  

My sister has an unusual work schedule, leaving about 9:30 am and getting home about 7:30 or later. This alone makes it difficult for her to provide meals and do many of the errands that need to be done. She is very stressed with the unending caregiver role she has had to assume these past 3 years. It's not that she needs to give a lot of care, but it is unrelenting and she does not get the little breaks that could help her have the 'me-time' she needs to recharge her strength. I wanted him to accept some support from an elderly companion service for such things as rides to the store, but he said, "Not yet." In the end I told my sister that she might have to insist upon it.  

At the end of the week he went to the doctor and was prescribed to be on oxygen so the medical technician arrived and set him up for that. This should help with some of his confusion and energy problems. Even after a short time of use I thought he was doing better.  

Most nights the 3 of us played poker, had dinner, and conversed. My dad seemed to gain strength and be less depressed as the week went on, and the oxygen and some new medications he began at the end of the week seem promising. Of course the good-byes were weighed by his obviously poor health. Perhaps it is the last visit. It was sad at times, but I felt at peace with our time togther and the visit.

3 DAYS, AND COUNTING

Ah, the sweet day-dreamy state of impending vacation is upon me and getting more intense with each passing day.

Yesterday I did the cat-care run-through with Kind Co-Worker during lunch, making special note of all the places she can obtain hidden back-up keys. Honey remained under the bed and was all wide-eyed and limp, but was fine later. KCW will drop in once per day and being a cat lover she's the best person I could find.

Procrastinated Task #1, change out my winter to summer clothes, was faced and swiftly dispatched Monday after work. My winter wear just will not do in Arizona so this was an essential task. Tonight I may take on #2, the spring cleanup of all the bird seed hulls that have mounded beneath my birdfeeder. My landlord has been tolerant of my bird feeding and I want to keep him that way.

The smelly (mold, mildew) piece of luggage I'd purchased for my trip was returned to Wal-Mart and replaced with a nicer piece picked up at Marshalls. The Shoe Department there cast a spell on me, making me forget I was on my lunch hour and compelled me to try on and decide between many worthy canidates. In the end two pair of comfortable mules jumped into my shopping cart. Back at work, I put on a 'ditzy blonde don't expect me to have to keep track of the time' look to safely stride to my desk almost 30 minutes late.

Three days to go!

10 THINGS

10 Things Most People Don't know About Me

1.  I've lived in 6 states.

2.  I make most of my skirts which are all cotton and most have print designs.

3.  I hate bangs (I'm talking about hair here.)

4.  I won a color TV while attending a vendor presentation.

5.  I'm the eldest with the next sister 11 months younger; people used to think we were twins.

6.  I'm a night owl.

7.  I get a little edgy when drawers are left open longer than necessary.

8.  I've studied Spanish and Russian and retained neither.

9.  I was once in a cult.

10. I have over 120 credits toward a BS in Chemistry but did not finish. [Smart move, huh, but there are reasons.]

SINCE I LAST BLOGGED....

Holy Week has come and gone, and it was once again beautifully moving and inspiring. My church is multi-cultural with a large Hispanic population and our Holy Thursday Mass is bi-lingual. The Hispanic choir sings their songs and are accompanied by a brass section and it is far more uplifting and dynamic than my usual anglo Mass. After the Mass there was the quiet somber beauty of the Holy Hour in a darkened, candle lit church until midnight. Good Friday and the joyous Easter Sunday were also special celebrations, each beautiful in different ways.

Many projects managed to get done the remainder of the long weekend:

~~ boxed my old laptop & accessories to mail to my niece

~~ completed my Looking Good April music swap CD

~~ mounted a shelf over my stove and prepared another for my bathroom

~~ re-burned two storage mp3 disks that had been corrupted [this was on my To Do list for months]

~~ began a database on Vegas hotels for the Unofficial HTCon

~~ made long phone calls to family members and friends

~~ printed 6 weeks of family photos for my daily letters to my Dad

Since I've been more of a Martha than a Mary for quite some time now, having the opportunity to cross tasks and projects off my To Do List is certainly satisfying.

Honey continues to be a delight. She is starting to allow me to come sit next to her cat chair and pet her; in the mornings she now watches me as I head out the door to work.

Yesterday's thunderstorm had Honey hiding under the bed and very frightened; she needed a great deal of attention to comfort and relax her. Since then she's wanted more attention and she did not want me to leave this morning. Perhaps being an outdoor cat for some time, these storms were very traumatic for her.

Work plods along. I'm bored. The building is still making me feel a bit sick on a daily basis, but as windows open it becomes more bearable. Right now my routine workload is a bit low and I've got a 'short-timer's attitude' as my Arizona trip approaches.

Now that my desk is in the same office as my manager I feel a little more constrained even though he does not comment on any indiscressions he observes. Hey, I'm a Gemini and need a little more latitude than more straight-laced signs!

Allergist. I have one now. My problems with asthma and allergies in the workplace, two really horrible allergy years, and a medicine cabinet full of prescriptions and over-the-counter medicines that only provide slight relief at a substantial total cost, finally broke me down and brought me to the Allergist's door.

I had all the tests. The good news is I can eat anything I want (and already do!). No food allergies. The bad news is I'm allergic to house dust and dust mites, tree pollens, grass pollens, ragweed pollens, molds & mildew (in my work area, I'm sure), and cats (oh NO!) and dogs.

The Rxs the Allergist offered me are pretty much everything I'm already on. In my way of thinking more medication is not a solution for me. I have about 7-8 months until the bad office environment begins to affect me severely again and I must be somewhat de-sensitized to the allergens by then. Therefore, I'll be going for allergy shots beginning next week.

It can take 6 months to over a year to feel a noticable difference and shots will be needed for years to come. But there's hope down this route, and that's always good.

WHEW!

The Dante's Inferno Test has sent you to Purgatory!
Here is how you matched up against all the levels:

Level Score Purgatory (Repenting Believers) Extreme Level 1 - Limbo (Virtuous Non-Believers) High Level 2 (Lustful) Low Level 3 (Gluttonous) Moderate Level 4 (Prodigal and Avaricious) Very Low Level 5 (Wrathful and Gloomy) Low Level 6 - The City of Dis (Heretics) Very Low Level 7 (Violent) Moderate Level 8- the Malebolge (Fraudulent, Malicious, Panderers) Low Level 9 - Cocytus (Treacherous) Very Low
Take the Dante's Inferno Hell Test

Purgatory

You have escaped damnation and made it to Purgatory, a place where the dew of repentance washes off the stain of sin and girds the spirit with humility. Through contrition, confession, and satisfaction by works of righteousness, you must make your way up the mountain. As the sins are cleansed from your soul, you will be illuminated by the Sun of Divine Grace, and you will join other souls, smiling and happy, upon the summit of this mountain. Before long you will know the joys of Paradise as you ascend to the ethereal realm of Heaven.

ETA: I can't seem to get the neat graphic of the levels to blog for me here.; check the site. Take the test!