THANKFUL FOR GOD

It's Sunday again. Lately I've been trying to make the day a little more holy and peaceful, and this has begun to show some good fruits. Today I am particularly appreciating the gathering of the faithful and receiving Jesus in the Eucharist. I recognize the renewal and strength this brings me and how this helps me and others during the week. There are no huge problems in my life right now, but there are plenty of little frustrations and inconsiderate acts that crop up each day that slap me around a bit. Only an inner reserve of God's presence and goodness and Spirit keeps me whole and from responding in kind to life's assaults.

ANOTHER REASON WE'RE HERE...

Sister #1 just asked me why do an open journal. Open to the public, like this is.

Well, I said, we started with individual letters through the mail. Then, when word processing came along we wrote a One Size Fits All letter and cut and paste new salutations and perhaps some varied content. Then there was e-mails. Then IMing. Now, if anyone cares to know what lifeonhold is up to or thinking about, they can check out the journal.

The ebbs and flow of daily life is in a journal, sort of like coming home from work and asking, "How'd it go today?" It is a way to connect across the miles.

HAIKU SNARK!

Now that Big Brother 4 has ended, and I'm suffering from unfulfilled Recap Addiction, I've been exploring the new Off-Season Hamster Time before quietly, and reluctantly, shuffling off and onto other things. It's like I'm walking through an almost empty school after graduation. Only one wing of the magnificent Hamster Time building remains open and active. There I gather with others to keep the spirit going a little longer.

As I wandered zombie-like through the halls today, peeking into closed rooms, my spirit suddenly took flight again! What did I find but a treasure trove of Big Brother 4 Haiku! Oh, funny and creative hamster watchers, I love you all over again!

THE BIG PROJECT

My Big Project these days is scanning and archiving a 50-year collection of family photographs. Right now I'm doing slides from the late 50's. It's great because I haven't seen most of these in more than 30 years since we stopped having annual family slide shows in the living room. We were all kids then; some Saturday evening at dinner dad or mom would announce that we were going to have slides or 8mm home movies that night. We saw these together again and again and told the same stories and laughed about the same things each time. It was really great. As the first of us entered our teens these family events ended and now I'm sorry they did. They reminded us in a different way of our shared history and reinforced who we were as individuals and as a family. My project work on the slides inspires some of my more reflective journal posts, like the previous one, Firstborn.

FIRSTBORN

I'm the firstborn in my family. That's me on the bottom step holding the ball. The serious, responsible look is already on my face even at that young age. My younger sister is the other tot in the light suit. She was, and is, the extrovert, the wit, the charmer. Funny how personality characteristics show up so early. [Click on View My Album to enlarge.]

MOODY? NOT ENOUGH

This is Day 2 of Message in a Bottle, and overall I'm satisfied. One dissatisfaction with the site so far is that there are far too few Mood choices. One must select from a prepared drop-down list. Personally, I think people who need a drop-down list of mood choices to figure out and express their mood should not be allowed to journal.

Getting back to the mood choices offered by AOL.... Do you think 'hate of a thousand fiery suns' is on the list? No. dammit. Just like the choice of Emoticons, Mood choices are extremely limited. Just so you know what I'm dealing with, the prepared selection is as follows:  Happy, Mischevious, Worried, Silly, Surprised, Flirtatious, Ecstatic, Frustrated, Loopy, Embarrassed, Hopeful, Anxious, Sad, Quiet, Chillin'.....  See what I mean.

The more subtle or popular moods (for lifeonhold anyway) are not represented: perplexed, irritated, nonplussed, bored, despondent, hysterical, hopeless, gleeful, sullen...the list goes on and on. Hey AOL, get rid of the drop down box or add a fill-in.

ETA: nonplussed - perplexed, caused to be at a loss as to what to say or do. ok, so it's a verb, but denotes an emotional state, and hey, it's my blog!

SUMMER HOUSEGUESTS LEAVE

I've had an apartment full of 'houseguests' all summer by way of the 24x7 Live Feeds of the Big Brother TV house. As guests go, this was a sorry lot and I'm doing a big happy dance that they're finally gone.

The best part of this diversion has been hanging out at Hamster Time, a recap site for BB4. There has been a very nice sense of community to the place, more community than I have where my actual body hangs out; the recognition of this situation has been one of the inspirations for this blog.

One purpose of this project is to practice the craft of writing. My posts? Passing grade if it's understandable. Bonus points if it's interesting. I'm humble enough to recognize that lifeonhold (my screen name, and how I'll be referring to myself on this site) pulled in a lot of C's, and some of those were generous. Thus, Message in a Bottle is a challenge to myself before anything else, to express my thoughts, and to craft them.

"YOGA"

Exercise, for me, is always something I'm starting. Then something I'm stopping. Right now I am in the Start mode; session 2 of yoga. The instructor is a middle-aged physical therapist and some of her 'yoga' is actually more like stretching exercises, but at least she is very understanding of her pitifully out of shape students.

Not so the Torturer, assistant to last fall's yoga instructor. She was so stupid, so robotic. "Listen to your body; don't force a position" Words of guidance from the instructor were supersceded by his evil henchwoman who roamed the floor "helping" us by wrenching our poor middle-aged limbs and muscles as she pleased. It did not please me and after a few sessions I transitioned into the Stop Exercise mode. Now I'm trying it again.

LIFE IS A CHESSBOARD

Why a journal/blog?  I'll be explaining that, and other things, as this journal scrolls onward over time.

As my sidebar indicates, I'm an early 50's, single (never been married), female. In the past several years I have very cleverly maneauvered across the chess board of life to find myself far, geographically, from every one of my family members and friends.  Actually, I haven't done all the moving myself; some of the other players have taken their turns on the board...two states over, one state down. Some, sadly, have been removed completely by the Big Hand.

Anyway, the result is a big, "Wha!"  As Talking Heads put it so well, How did I get here? I don't know.  The 'here' is quite a place, partly designed by yours truely, and partly fashioned by The Cruel World.

SO, I'm taking out my travel notes, compass, faltering lamp, and roughly drawn map to, perhaps, take another step onward and to describe past legs of this long journey. It is a Message in a Bottle launched into the currents of the seas of cyberspace. A little leap of faith and hope. A chance to mix it up a little in life's lottery.

Anyway, it's launched!