Now This

Carl Nelson

1958 - 2004

The Nelson family has had another loss.

My brother, Carl, passed away sometime yesterday in his apartment in Arizona of some kind of seizure (stroke? heart? anyurism?). He was 46, the youngest of us Nelson children. He worked the night shift for a local community college in the computer department for at least a decade. He never married.

Unfortunately, Carl and my father did not get along; aside from three brief visits at the time of our mother's death in 2001 he did not have contact with our family these past 12 or so years despite our attempts to reach out to him. We were hoping that after my dad passed he might re-establish contact with his sisters, but I guess it won't happen in this life.

He was 7-years my junior and so our only real time together was when we were kids. There was no specific estrangement between the two of us, but we were mostly strangers to each other. He had 'adopted' a different set of 'parents' and 'siblings' within his circle of friends over the past decade or so and ignored us. This made me sad, and a little angry, because I could see how this hurt my parents, particularly my father. Otherwise, my hope was that he found happiness in the path he chose for his life.

Somehow, although I'm shaken and sad, I'm not all that surprised by the news. I had an inner 'sense' about Carl these past several months since my dad's death, as though he was somehow already gone too.

Rest in Peace.

(((Shudder)))

It's December, a time of festivities and joy. However, I am fixated on another event, an event I've been dreading since 12/13/03, the day my cat, Honey, came home with me from her Shelter.

It's time to make her annual vet appointment, and as of this date I've still not successfully picked up Miss SquirmyBody. She's a big girl. Her inner core is 100% muscle hardwired to a highly tuned feral flight instinct; the outer layer is a mass of squishy fat that is hard to grab.

My attempts at picking her up, which have not been many, have been dismal and weak. Usually I'm at an awkward angle...I grab and encounter squishy fat; by this time Honey's defensive moves have already gone into motion, and she kicks with her inner muscle and squirms out of my grasp. The emotional fallout involves suspicion, distance, a sense of loss, and insecurity. And that's just me.

Yes, I'm a pitiful excuse as a cat taskmaster; Honey knows it and takes every advantage. Yet the time draws near so it's time I grew a backbone and get this done.

Anyone out there got any cat-catching techniques?

Honey Plays!

I don't have a playing photo yet. Here is Honey watching the birds at the feeder.

I never thought I'd live to see the day!

Things have been just fine between me and my darling kitty cat pumpkin, Honey, aka Da Baby. Hopefully I'll be adding some pictures to this entry this weekend.

This week I had my landlord come in during my workday and remove my old shabby used sofa to make room for a reclining loveseat that I plan to purchase sometime in early 2005. As with all change, this, and the reorganization of the room afterwords, brought out Honey's insecurities.

Reassuring her can either be a tedious and mildly frustrating task, particularly when she hides under the bed and cries and is slow to come around. Sometimes, when she isn't that bad off, such as after the sofa incident, she gets all love-y with deep, appreciative purring and reassuring her can be very satisfying, as if our bond is growing stronger.

Once we got through the reassurance, Honey seemed to be overjoyed. For the first time since I've had her [11-months] she played openly and at length with some of her cat toys, vigorously tossing and catching a little ball, a mousie, and a small sack of catnip. Her inner kitten is coming out...at least until I run the washing machine again and she retreats once more to under the bed.

Re-President Bush

For the most part I like to keep away from hot-button topics like politics, but it is the political season and so here goes...  

My vote will go to George W. Bush. I think he has faced an amazing array of difficulties with vision, strength, care for all Americans, and good leadership. His policies are based on values and principles that are rooted in American life.  

National Security - during the 90s American interests were attacked numerous times, including the 1993 attack on the World Trade Center but no effective actions were taken to truely combat terrorist networks. This changed after 9/11; President Bush rightly sees the need for an offensive multi-faceted battle against terrorist networks. John Kerry has yet to demonstrate an understanding of the situation and focuses on capturing or killing individuals, such as Bin Laden; this is a reactive in nature and just more of the same 90's approach which allowed terrorist networks to develop and strengthen.  

Iraq - We ARE in Iraq. Sometimes the political focus has been so backwards-looking (hindsight's great, ins't it!) that it has deflected from the reality.  Bush WILL have the determination to stand by our troops and bring about the right objectives for America and Iraq, for the war on terror, for the region, and for the safety of the world. Much good can come from this, but it takes a strong resolve despite the ups and down. The enemy has to first defeat the resolve of the enemy's country and leadership. That won't happen with Bush.

John Kerry is another story. Kerry will certainly make the situation a failure, another Vietnam. He can only see military action in terms of Vietnam and I don't believe for one minute that he'll have the resolve needed to bring this conflict to a success. Frankly I think he has defeat hard-wired into his resolve, and for this reason alone I can never vote for him for President.  

I feel that Bush has been good for America on domestic issues also despite daunting difficulties, including the attack on 9/11. I have the same concerns as most Americans about domestic needs, but feel that Bush is addressing the domestic needs. Kerry's 'big govt' approach would not even pass through Congress (thank God) which leaves us with no action.  

I trust Bush's values and character. I respect Kerry's service to America in Vietnam, but have deep concerns about his character and record since then, and even during this campaign.  

George Bush is the best choice for America and the world (but not the terrorists).  

[/political]

Life Battle

Today, for the first time in more than 2 months, I feel healthy.

I've been sick the past several weeks with bad asthma brought on by a minor component of seasonal allergies and a major component due to particulates and/or mold being stirred up at my workplace due to rennovations in the building. I hung in as long as possible, but ended up being out sick for a full week in mid-October.

I'm also getting the allergy shots, and perhaps I am less able to deal with the allergens at this time. Several factors may be in play.

During my time out, I found help from Fred Pescatore, M.D.'s book, The Allergy and Asthma Cure. I'm now following his 3-month nutritional program and have tapered off from Advair Diskus because I think it's been part of the problem. Dr. Pescatore writes this about the class of drugs that Advair belongs to: "There is now some concern that there is a relationship between use of these drugs and dying from asthma." [The component Serevent is the suspect drug, according to the Advair commercial I just saw.]

Both my regular doctor and allergist put me on the strongest Advair (up from mid-strength) in mid-September and the month after that was horrendeous. I felt I was heading towards 'dying from asthma'; twice I almost called 911 it was so bad.

The nutritional 3-month program tackles yeast overgrowth that can happen with people who, among other things, take steroids. Both my rescue inhaler and Advair are steroids. I've also had varied symptoms of yeast problems for a while now.

The program is similar to the Atkins diet, except I can't have anything containing sugar or yeast. It's challenging, but I'm hopeful that it can contribute to my overall wellness.

I'm hoping that I'll be able to add exercise in soon and to have the energy and focus for the job search which is still necessary to get out of my harmful work environment.

New Life, The Theme

Gee, it's been 6 weeks since I promised more than I could deliver. The blog-neglect continued. It's always awkward making that next attempt after failing to follow through. Will I remember this withered blog? Does anyone stop by anymore?  (((echo)))  Well, that's to be expected....

New Life is the Theme

My father passed away in early July and entered eternal life.

Arizona sister is taking care of the family business and getting on with a new life for herself after years caring for/living with our elderly parents.

Tennessee sister finally got into court after 10 months of postponements and was granted a divorce and financial justice. Yay, sis! You deserve it!

And me? Well, I've decided that I need to move on also. The building where I work has a mold/mildew problem is getting pregressively worse. Apparently only I can detect this because I have extrodinary superpowers. Superman, meet Kryptonite.

It's now bad enough to affect me powerfully and painfully every working day. The Powers That Be are taking the course of Maximum Denial and will stay on that course until one day this winter when the foot of snow on the roof melts and pours visibly into the corner office. I'm going to do my best not to be there when that happens, but I hope a former co-worker will give me satisfaction and call me at my new job with the news.

Change does not come easy. I really like my job, particularly in it's variety and also the company culture which is very relaxed. My commute is rediculously short and easy and there is virtually no such thing as 'being late for work.' These aspects are not likely to be duplicated.

But...it's time to move on.

Please remind me when I forget.

 

NEGLECT NO MORE

Ack!  I visit my own blog, and it's full of cobwebs! Guess that happens when one practices the fine art of neglect. At least it hasn't slipped off into some archive file. Yet.

It's Big Brother 5 season and I'm perpetually digging my way through the abundant funny live feed recaps over at Hamster Time; there's so much recappery that I haven't watched the live feeds as much as I should. It's been an entertaining season so far.

Family and finance issues are at the fore with my Dad's passing; things in this area are a little strained and no fun, but that will pass. Hopefully we'll all make it back to sanity and a semblance of familial dysfunction that we consider normal, or at least comfortable. I can't write about this stuff, except to say it's crazy and takes a lot of my attention bandwidth.

Right on schedule (i.e. as soon as I seem to be making headway on my credit debt) my last good upper molar went bad and so I'm in the midst of the good 'ole root canal - tooth buildup - crown procedure. Sigh. Bye bye October Las Vegas trip.

Honey remains my little pooters. She was all kitten-like the other night playing with a new mousie toy, one with a little tinkly bell. Brave girl! She has previously been afraid of anything with a tinkly bell.