THE PASSION OF THE CHRIST

This afternoon I saw the remarkable movie, The Passion of The Christ. It was incredibly well done and very moving. As a movie it is artfully constructed, beautifully filmed and well acted; as a Christian movie, it is an instant classic and it will have a life well beyond the theatre within Christian communities and homes everywhere.

The gospel message of Christ's purpose, message of love, and triumph over sin and death through his sacrifice on the cross is beautifully told without bludgeoning the viewer in any way. It inspires repentance and conversion without provoking anger or guilt.

Indeed, it is bloody and the Way of the Cross is unrelenting, but as Mel Gibson promised, there are points of relief; to me these moments brought more tears to my eyes than seeing the brutality of the Passion itself. I never had to turn away from the screen. I did not find it to be anti-semitic at all; if anything it is anti-establishment, anti-worldly power, and anti-human ignorance and pride.

If the Pope did not say, "It is as it was," then he should have.

The Passion of The Christ follows the last 12 hours of Jesus Christ and it was an emotional, moving and transforming experience. Yes, I feel a bit emotionally battered afterwards, but more than that I feel grateful and at peace. Thank you, Mel Gibson, and the Holy Spirit that inspired this movie.

I'VE BEEN SO HAPPY

Yesterday I finished a second day cleaning 20 years of grime out of my new office space and one point had one of those happy realizations that this is a great move for me. I almost broke out in song.

I can breathe again. Do not take this for granted. It's important. This is the first benefit, but then I had flash of realization was that this also takes me away from a few constant irritants that have annoyed me almost daily for the past 3 years:

1. I'm no longer imbedded amonst the Sales group. They're fine people, but not my type and I get edgy overhearing their unfocused wavering and cave-ins to stupid and unrealistic demands of our Valued Customers. I also do not do well among Marketing people. In business I fit better among Accounting and Engineering types.

2. I'm no longer the last admin flunky in the area to do phone coverage and or take care of copier, fax, or postage machine issues after our part-timers, flextime workers and people who find an excuse to leave early disappear in the afternoon. This is a daily occurance and sometimes I'm appalled by the excuses and also the laxity of management about it all. Of course it's always the same people who do this over and over.

3. I will no longer have the daily dose of bile rise up watching sales engineers and managers making twice my salary look helplessly at a jammed (or sometimes unjammed) copier and then over to me, the innocent bystander in the office next to the copier. I realize I don't have male body parts or an engineering degree to my credit so I'm your target of convienence. Go cram it, dinosaurs; your mama moved to the office down the hall and she ain't moving back to serve your sexist asses.

4.  Our office Loud and Constant Talker is no longer going to be an omnipresent irritant from 10-ish until she leaves due to one excuse or another. Loud Talker never shuts up and management never tells her that perhaps she needs to work quietly....or at least work.

I like and respect the two engineers that I room with now. More on that later, due to AOL entry limitations. Yay me, I'm happy!

CAT WHISPERER

Ok, I'm not a cat whisperer, but Honey and I had a long talk the other night and as a result she seems to be less skittish. I explained to her that we had to move forward in our relationship even if this is a little difficult for us both. I am not going to harm her and realize that she doesn't like some of the ways The Hand approaches her head because she may have had a hitter in her past. I would never hit her, but I realize I must become more adept at moving The Hand in a way that will not threaten her.

I asked her to trust me a little more by not jumping off her bedroom chair bed almost every time I look in her direction from outside the room. I understand that I might be staring at her a little too much for her liking, and will try to use more periferial vision or short, non-threatening glances.

I explained that running back under the bed does not give me a chance. I spoke softly but in a little of a Master tone that revealed a bit of frustration but was not harsh; it wasn't my usual 'I love youuuu, Honnneey' voice.

We had this conversation with me lying on the floor and her out on the other side of the bed with her back to me and her tail swishing. Occasionally there would be a little cry of protest similar in tone to a child at the end of a very mild 'but I want that candy' spat. Honey wants me to be her feeder and I want more.

Anyway, she has been much more stable and settled since our little talk. She has come out for petting with food being the afterthought and she even let me come part way into the bedroom a few times this afternoon.

OUR PLATEAU

Honey and I seem to have reached a plateau in our relationship and if anyone has any suggestions, please post them.

In the morning, and occasionally at night when I'm preparing Honey's food, she will come up to me and brush against my legs, allow me to pet her, and romp around my feet. She's so excited about food time (but aren't we all!).

She will come onto my bed or in her cat beds, but only when I'm not in the rooms. If she sees me approach she jumps down and goes back under the bed. If she's under the bed and I get down on my knees she'll come out or accept petting.

I'd like her to stop scurrying away every time she thinks I'm approaching. I'd like her to become 'weened' from running back under the bed all the time. Even if she ran to another room I'd prefer that.

Do you think I should 'chase' her out of the bedroom for periods of time when I'm moving around the apartment so she'll have to 'deal' with me moving around and with her fears? Or should I just let her keep up this pattern? I could move her food bowls into the kitchen, but since most of our time 'together' is when she comes out from under the bed for the nearby food, I'm afraid if I move the food she won't come out at all while I'm around.

YEAH, ... ABOUT THAT TAX BREAK

Great Gripe-Off: Single vs. Married  by Amy Keyishian

This is my favorite excerpt from the above article:

There seems to be an attitude harbored by many marrieds that they are the normal ones. Such notions cut deep for many singles. "What's all this talk about budgets?" asks Alicia, 34. "Looks to me like everything costs half as much. They bring one dish to a potluck, one bottle of wine to a dinner party...." Colin, 32, agrees. "I'm sick of hearing how my two-income friends are jetting off to Spain while I'm jetting off to Costco," he tells us. "I have four words for you: Couples tax break -- why?" asks Jill, 50, of Hopewell, New Jersey.

MOVING DAY

I returned to work today after 2+ sick days due to my work area making me sick, literally. One of my co-workers said the building maintenence person came around at my company's request, looked up at the ceiling and promptly pronounced everything to be ok. I am just amazed by that fellow's expertise!

I expected as much. We are in an old old old industrial complex in an office building that basically gets no cleaning and runs oil heat in the winter. The air intake ducts in the ceiling are ringed with black soot and the tiles haven't been changed, ever. The horror stories about this office area are too numerous to mention.

One of the engineers who helped me move remarked that he looked at other suite where my desk had been and he could only find air intake ducts, no outlet vents!

Management said I could move my desk to the engineering office at the other end of the hall where the air might be better (and where there are actual air outlet vents!). Since this was my only option I spent a good portion of the day moving most of my stuff and cleaning the blinds and every surface; I'll be doing more cleaning tomorrow too. After the cleaning and firing up the HEPA filter I did feel better in the new space, so I'm hopeful.

WE LIKE THE MOON

Spongmonkeys sing, We Like The Moon.

Lifted from a link at Tuna News.

HOW I BECAME LIFEONHOLD

Being sick has it's upside....I've been catching up on blogs all morning and came across Alphawoman's explaination as to how her name came about. I thought it was a good idea, so here is how Lifeonhold was born:

Lifeonhold was born of Reality TV, specifically Big Brother 2. I signed up for the RealOne-spawn-of-the-devil Live Feeds and life as I'd known it changed forever. At work I caught up on The Clubhouse's Live Feed recaps at every opportunity and at night and the weekends I was tuned in to the Live Feed itself. Obsessively tuned in.

I'd give recaps during phone conversations to Carol, my one friend in the area, and complain about having to break away for the necessities of life, joking that all I needed was a cube refrig within reach of my computer to be just about set. I'd tell Carol that my life was on hold for the duration of the show. Thus lifeonhold.

I recall very fondly Highwaygirl's little impromptu game one day while equally glued to the Live Feeds and doing recaps at HamsterTime. During a boring stretch, but unable to break away, she played "What Can I Reach From My Computer," entertaining her readers with the mundane items within reach. It struck a cord because I would often look up from the Live Feeds at other things in the room and consider that they were out of reach, as though I was glued to my computer chair, which, of course I was.

Lifeonhold would like a little less 'hold' and more 'life', but I'm not frantic about it. Most of the time I'm content and recognize that after over 30 years on my own I'm probably too independent to bear a lot of closeness, even from my own family. My internet friends seem to understand this way of life which provides the community that is not always at hand in the 'real' world.

Edited to correct my spelling of HamsterTime (no p). Hee, overg!

KITTY GATEKEEPERS

I'm home today with a nice case of self-diagnosed brochitis. I spoke to our Operations Manager this morning about the problem I seem to have with my work area; he said he'd contact the building's management about it. I guess this is a good time to have some faith that whatever comes of this God will see me through it.

On the lighter side, my DAWS volunteer who has kept in touch with me and my Honey updates send me a link to an entertaining Salon.com article about NYC Shelter Kitty Gatekeepers. There is a free Day Pass to finish reading the article. No registration is necessary.

DAWS did not have the 'clumping litter' question on their application, but I'd say they did a good gatekeeping job.

Oh, and you cat lovers will like this ditty. Be advised that it has an audio track.

HEDONISTIC TRANSGRESSIONS, I BARELY RECALL

You're Confessions!
by St. Augustine
You're a sinner, you're a saint, you do not feel ashamed. Well, you might feel a little ashamed of your past, but it did such a good job of teaching you what not to do. Now you've become a devout Christian and have spent more time ruminating on the world to come rather than worldly pleasures. Your realizations and ability to change will bring reverence upon you despite your hedonistic transgressions. Florida will honor you most in the end.

Haha, I give BluePyramid credit! 

DUST ME OFF

You're Egypt!
Curator of ancient mystical secrets, your life on the surface is fairly typical these days.  Though you are in denial about more things than most people.  Nevertheless, you're trying to convince people that you're safe despite your more volatile and unstable times that seem to be behind you.  You like cats a whole lot.  You'd probably really appreciate The Blue Pyramid.

What country are you?

Pretty accurate! And thanks, I guess, to GreenTuna for coming up with this site.

DRAWING THE LINE

It's 3:30 in the afternoon and I'm home. This morning I left for work with clear lungs and no coughing. Within minutes entering my work area the coughing began. By 11 AM I was having trouble concentrating, my eyes were irritated and my lungs were beginning to feel conjested and I began having trouble breathing. One of my co-workers also started coughing and she said she's been getting a headache almost daily for a month.

I went home for lunch but then back again the asthma really hit hard and I used my inhaler; despite this I began wheezing and that got worse. My toes and lips were tingly.

Throughout the day I noticed that in the hallway and little coffee area I could hear the building blower come on periodically but I never heard anything similar in our office area. Therefore, I think there is no air circulation and no outdoor air being mixed in. We are breathing whatever our lungs, the copiers and other office equipment and the furnishings emit.

I told my manager and then the president that I was leaving and why and said I did not plan to come in until the work area problem was solved. I'll call our Operations Manager tomorrow to discuss this further with him. I just can't work in an area that's causing me such severe physical problems.

This is scary. I don't know what my rights or options are, particularly if they don't find a cause or get it remedied.

Oh, I've been home for 1-3/4 hours and the asthma is gone and I'm no longer coughing and the conjestion is clearing up.

A WEEKEND THAT WAS

Friday night's snack was Triscuits and a tin of smoked oysters which produced a strange physical reaction that may have meant that 1) something was wrong with the oysters, or 2) I was sick and my body just used the oysters to announce that it was feeling poorly. The reaction was not the normal 'food poisoning' reaction, but it may have been a food intolerance reaction although I've eaten this brand many times before.

Saturday I uncharacteristically slept till noon and then felt sick most of the day. In the early evening I called my Dad who had just returned home from his hospiral rehab recovery on Friday. It was a short call, but reassuring. Feeling somewhat better, the evening was spent online with chat friends and watching Shrek, Rocky Horror Picture Show and SNL. Honey came out to give me 'last call' warnings on the use of the living room so I dutifully went to bed. As Overg says, "Obey the kitty."

Sunday I made it to Mass then came home to degrade into chills and tiredness. An aquaintance called with dire financial problems and stressed out and by the end of the call I needed a nap. At one point Honey hopped on the bed, played with my feet and hopped back into her bedroom chair perch.

I got up at dinnertime, ate, fed Honey and then watched the Ghostbusters DVD and then the same movie with the commentary. It was a safe choice while sick.

I don't know if this 'sickness' is something viral or if my system is just processing all the junk that I was exposed to last week at my office that gathered in my lungs, glands and chest. By Friday they were in terrible shape and it has taken the full weekend to feel normal again, but the rest of my body has become sick as an afer-effect. I'm not too enthused about going back to the office tomorrow for another round.

TWO MONTHS REPORT CARD

Honey actually pranced around my feet this morning as I brought her food dish to her mat. This was so uninhibited that it almost made me prance too!

The first photo is Honey coming to remind me that she legally has right of sole occupancy of the living area at night. She stared at me silently here for quite some time; I was able to get the picture. For those HamsterTime visitors, that yellow bag is a HT Fisty Messager Bag.

Whenever Honey shows some new boldness she always needs reassurances that everything is ok between us; in photo 3 she is her most kitten-like form as I caress her back. This always reassures her and she purrs loudly.

In photo 4 I caught her in a moment of play with a new ball; it is now all shredded.

IMPROVING

First of all, my Dad's condition is improving. He is still in the rehab treatment center and having daily therapy. He is weak, but coming around. My thanks to everyone for their concern and prayers.

Honey and I had our 2-month anniversary yesterday. I caught her watching the birds in the afternoon after coming home sick from a bad asthma attack at work in the morning. She did not jump down when she saw me 12 feet away and I was able to get the photo. I knew she'd love watching the parrots, sparrows, other birds and squirrls that frequent my feeder.

Late Friday night I heard her play loudly in the kitchen; I think it was her way of telling me it was time to get to bed. Then this morning she hopped up on the bed and attacked The Giant's feet as a means of getting me up to Feed Her.

BITS AND PIECES, AND SOME HONEY

*** The photo is of Honey this morning as she waited at my bedroom door while I prepared her breakfast in the kitchen. This is becoming our morning routine.

*** There's no word from my sister as to how my Dad is doing; probably he's doing as well as expected. Unless there's an emergency I don't expect to hear from her until the weekend.

*** I love finding a great new CD even if it's been out for a while. Bruce Springsteen's The Rising is full of personal, moving songs inspired by the 911 tragedy and resonate on universal themes of loss and sorrow. The music, lyrics and voice are all mature and meaningful. My favorite tracks are Into the Fire, Nothing Man, Empty Sky, Worlds Apart, Further On (Up the Road), The Fuse, You're Missing, Paradise, and My City of Ruins.  

*** Tonight is the Finale of Celebrity Mole: Yucatan on ABC. It has been yawnalicious and probably the death of what was once an outstanding reality show before the show lost: 1) Anderson Cooper  2) 'real' intelligent and interesting people  3) interesting and challenging contests, and 4) (this season) their casting director. Ah, how I wish for a return of the show as it was in The Mole 2.

*** I'm into a second week of asthma and conjestion. Even on four medications including an inhaler I'm just barely getting by with the basics. Half the time I feel like I could pass out and my chest hurts from the coughing. It seems that I can never get away from allergies or asthma for very long at a stretch. In another month the pollen allergies will begin again. Sigh.

 

MY DAD

Me and my Dad, November 2003 in Arizona

I just got off the phone with my sisters. My AZ sister called to let us know our Dad had been in the hospital for a combination of pneumonia and conjestive heart failure since the 4th and is now being trasferred to a rehab facility for further recovery. He did not want us to know about it until now due to his concern for a particular difficulty my other sister is undergoing this week. Please say a prayer for his recovery.

HONEY ROMPS

At Last! A photo of Honey on all fours

Honey continues to become more comfortable and secure. Last night she went out for her evening in the living room and was positively romping around. She sounded really happy and free.

In the morning about 6 she dashed loudly in and out of the bedroom a few times and then up on my bed at my feet. She stepped on my feet and then play-tackled them twice before jumping down. Under the bed I heard her play with her toys.

At 7 she came to the door of my bedroom and cried for me to get up and feed her. A few times this week when I was safely in the bathroom she came to the door to peek at me from the safety of the doorway.

She also comes out from under the bed very readily when I kneel there and she has quite a vocabulary of little crys. I am now trying to make her more comfortable with me standing up when she's out eating.