Introducing....

.

Life Off Hold <--- (link)

http://lifeoffhold.blogdrive.com/

I'm officially off to new blog digs now; hope to see you there in 2005.

ETA: Now with photos, background textures, quizzes, books, polls and entries!

This Ain't EASY, Designer

I'm grinding my teeth right now. Easy Designer, never cooperative even on a good day, is being it's fussy little self tonight. It is the tool that I use to heft my photos onto AOL's free webpages so that after about 50 exhausting steps I have some pretty offering to decorate this pitiful blog.

Tonight Easy Designer is giving me error messages or telling me I don't have webpages. The bottom line is that I can't do anything. Even when it decides to acknowledge my existence and work correctly, the AOL blog software only allows 1 photo per entry, always at the top before the text; imbedding photos within the text is too complicated for it. I can use the You've Got Pictures feature for up to 6 photos, but they're also at the top and annoyingly tiny.

Looking over the blog fence, my blogging friends have it so much better. Imbedded photos, sometimes several in one entry, bullet highlights, lists, calendars, avatars in the profile section....the list goes on. I've seen some of these things on AOL blogs, but AOL doesn't make it easy, and I've decided not to be enslaved by the craptacular blogspace and tools AOL offers.

There are several options that look good, and for the time being, I've chosen Blogdrive for my new Blog, Life Off Hold and Photobucket Premier (unlimited) for photo hosting. In a few day's I'll provide the re-direct link once I've finished cutting the cord.

Merry Christmas to All

The sugarplums are dancing in my head as I send out Christmas and Holiday greetings and blessings to all who wander in from Real Space.

Honey got her Christmas stocking full of catnip toys, balls, and little plastic thingies that she can bite, toss, and bat around. She responded with purrs of contentment and happiness which made me happy.

Last night I finally played a VCR tape that my family sent me several years ago of my mother's last Christmas Eve. It was 2000 and she was sick with terminal cancer at the time. A small group from her Salvation Army unit came and sang Christmas Carols out in their carport. Neighbors and friends were there for the Carols and for a little social after the singing.

One of the middle-aged men in the chorus, Dick, had some kind of physical disability that caused his body's torso to jerk fairly non-stop. Near the end of the program, Dick said he has a song just for my mother. In a beautiful solo tenor voice he sang a Christmas song with a theme about Jerusalem, the heavenly New Jerusalem. My mother stood in front of him giving him her total attention and great grace and dignity. It was really touching, appropriate, hopeful, and very beautiful. It was a real Christmas gift for me this year. A real blessing.

Grace's Mini-Meme

Grace over at The Friday Chef came up with these questions:

Question #1~ Have you ever had a seasonal job? Was it a good or bad experience?

I've never had a seasonal job, per se, except for the month or so I tried to sell Fuller Brush products door to door. It was my first paying job. I had to purchase the demos and flyers; with this overhead I had to sell to break even. I distributed the flyers in round 1 through my territory and then in round 2 I knocked on the doors to take orders.

My region was split between elderly people and younger middle-income families. The elderly people were more likely to invite me in and eventually, after a long visit, purchase one small item. I had no success at all with the younger people.

I also sold Dianetics books door to door as a 'penance' during my Scientology years, and that's a whole different story.

Both sales jobs were the same, though. The old or lonely were the only ones who gave me a moment of time and as I get older I understand this a lot more. I didn't sell many brushes or books, but I hope my sales visits helped make a few days less lonely. That is the only good thing about door-to-door sales.

Question #2~ If your house was burning to the ground, what one thing would you chose to save?

It would have to be my 'miraculous rock'. In 1992 I made a religious pilgrimage to the village of Medjugorje, Bonsia-Herzegovnia, reported to be the site of ongoing Marian apparitions. During a rosary walk on Apparition Hill I had the thought that I'd like to take a rock from the hill home with me and I began to look for one. As I did this, an interior voice that was not my own said to me, "Let me have someone give you one (a rock)." With that my mind stopped thinking about rocks.

That evening after dinner one of the older men in our group who had spent the day at a different event in the village announced that he had something for each of us. He picked up a bag and went around the room and we each drew blindly from the bag. The gift? A rock from Medjugorje. Many of us saw Christian patterns in our rocks. Here is a scan of mine with the image of Mary with her Immaculate Heart and my interpertation of the image.

Question #3~ Make one resolution that is do-able, and could make a big difference in your life.

After this year of illness, I'd have to say to lose weight, exercise more and to continue on with my allergy shots and try to get healthy again. Without health it's hard to move forward on other goals. I've lost about 15 pounds since October so I think it's do-able, but it's easy to get derailed.

Now This

Carl Nelson

1958 - 2004

The Nelson family has had another loss.

My brother, Carl, passed away sometime yesterday in his apartment in Arizona of some kind of seizure (stroke? heart? anyurism?). He was 46, the youngest of us Nelson children. He worked the night shift for a local community college in the computer department for at least a decade. He never married.

Unfortunately, Carl and my father did not get along; aside from three brief visits at the time of our mother's death in 2001 he did not have contact with our family these past 12 or so years despite our attempts to reach out to him. We were hoping that after my dad passed he might re-establish contact with his sisters, but I guess it won't happen in this life.

He was 7-years my junior and so our only real time together was when we were kids. There was no specific estrangement between the two of us, but we were mostly strangers to each other. He had 'adopted' a different set of 'parents' and 'siblings' within his circle of friends over the past decade or so and ignored us. This made me sad, and a little angry, because I could see how this hurt my parents, particularly my father. Otherwise, my hope was that he found happiness in the path he chose for his life.

Somehow, although I'm shaken and sad, I'm not all that surprised by the news. I had an inner 'sense' about Carl these past several months since my dad's death, as though he was somehow already gone too.

Rest in Peace.

(((Shudder)))

It's December, a time of festivities and joy. However, I am fixated on another event, an event I've been dreading since 12/13/03, the day my cat, Honey, came home with me from her Shelter.

It's time to make her annual vet appointment, and as of this date I've still not successfully picked up Miss SquirmyBody. She's a big girl. Her inner core is 100% muscle hardwired to a highly tuned feral flight instinct; the outer layer is a mass of squishy fat that is hard to grab.

My attempts at picking her up, which have not been many, have been dismal and weak. Usually I'm at an awkward angle...I grab and encounter squishy fat; by this time Honey's defensive moves have already gone into motion, and she kicks with her inner muscle and squirms out of my grasp. The emotional fallout involves suspicion, distance, a sense of loss, and insecurity. And that's just me.

Yes, I'm a pitiful excuse as a cat taskmaster; Honey knows it and takes every advantage. Yet the time draws near so it's time I grew a backbone and get this done.

Anyone out there got any cat-catching techniques?

Honey Plays!

I don't have a playing photo yet. Here is Honey watching the birds at the feeder.

I never thought I'd live to see the day!

Things have been just fine between me and my darling kitty cat pumpkin, Honey, aka Da Baby. Hopefully I'll be adding some pictures to this entry this weekend.

This week I had my landlord come in during my workday and remove my old shabby used sofa to make room for a reclining loveseat that I plan to purchase sometime in early 2005. As with all change, this, and the reorganization of the room afterwords, brought out Honey's insecurities.

Reassuring her can either be a tedious and mildly frustrating task, particularly when she hides under the bed and cries and is slow to come around. Sometimes, when she isn't that bad off, such as after the sofa incident, she gets all love-y with deep, appreciative purring and reassuring her can be very satisfying, as if our bond is growing stronger.

Once we got through the reassurance, Honey seemed to be overjoyed. For the first time since I've had her [11-months] she played openly and at length with some of her cat toys, vigorously tossing and catching a little ball, a mousie, and a small sack of catnip. Her inner kitten is coming out...at least until I run the washing machine again and she retreats once more to under the bed.